Alia has written another great post about healthy relationships. Enjoy this read especially the part about creating a secure environment. Please let her know what you think in the comments and share, share, share!
Relationships are not a simple thing, they reflect everything what you feel about you and your partner. When you see some bad day in it, you can find your partner difficult to handle thus making your relationship bad to worse. However, if you have a strong and healthy kind of relationship, you have one of the best supports in life. Having a loving relationships help in improving the other aspects of your life and strengthen your body soul and mind along with making the couple as one perfect and happy unit. This is the reason relationships are considered as investment, the more you are putting in it the better are the returns. In order to build up a loving relationship, you should consider some healthy tips, which are as discussed below.
Develop a safe environment
The important healthy tip to consider for building up a healthy relationship is to create a safe and secure kind of environment wherein you could share openly along with trusting each other without any fear. You are not supposed to interrupt while you see your partner speaking up and sharing something. Never mind if you have to put your hand over your mouth to stop yourself and allow your partner speak. In relationship people fight, but at such junctures you need to be a fair player- so learn to fight fairly. No need for name calling, or giving threats, etc. At the same time, don’t hesitate to apologize when you know you should. If you see losing your temper, better get rid of it by going to some other room or take a shower to calm down yourself. Always, remember, anger is the biggest enemy and not your partner.
Keep the facts out of the feelings
Look out for the feelings and beliefs, which erupted the conflict, simply ask this to yourself. Do you find something in your past, which has been influencing the way you see the current situation. One of the key questions, which you need to answer – is this about any person or simply deals about you? What is the real truth behind all these things? The moment you are able to separate the facts from all your feelings, you could end up seeing your partner in a clear manner and thus effectively resolve the issues seeking the help of this crystal clarity.
Connecting with several parts of yourself
Everyone on earth is certainly not a solo instrument. People are similar to a choir or any orchestra where you could see several types of voices coming out at the same time. You need to check what the different parts of your body including your mind, heart, body and gut are saying. For instance, you may see your mind saying to leave your partner, but your heart says that you really love her. Allow your different kinds of voices to speak to one other. This will help you in finding out the right answer that comes from your whole personality and not from a single part in you.
Cultivate and develop compassion
Take time to practice for observing yourself and your partner without going judgmental. Some portion of your body could be the judge; however, you are not supposed to identify the same since these judgments close the doors of wisdom. Contrary to judgment is compassion. You live with compassion; you often remain connected, open and always accessible for a respectful dialogue with your fellow partner. If you put yourself into practice of seeing your partner with compassion, you end up getting more amounts of power to select your response instead of simply reacting.
Develop a ‘We’ rather than living with two ‘I’s’
The base of things like growth, development and having mutually supportive kind of relationship has to be connected and at the same time separate. In any co-dependent kinds of relationships, everyone seems to be sacrificing something for their partner and compromising over the relationship if you look at the overall picture. However, if you choose to remain connected and separate as well, each and every individual ‘I’ simply adds to embark with a creation of strong unity called as ‘we’, which happens to be much stronger and better than the two separate ‘I’s. The differences between the two partners are certainly not the negatives. At times you may fear that the differences between you and your partner could make you feel that you are an incompatible couple, however, these things simply can make your relationship excitement and good fire.
Invest some time for your relationship
Regardless of the fact that you are busy person or you happen to be important person at your workplace; you have to spend some time in your relationship. This will foster the love and relationship between you and your partner. Take time to try things like playdates, moving out, having dinner together or a holiday could help you in nurturing your relationship. Make sure you create a sacred kind of mutual space in both of you by simply shutting all the digital and technological things. Like any garden, the more quality time you spend with each other the more you would enjoy in your relationship.
As said, loving relationships are lifetime investments; hence you should not leave any stone unturned to keep it alive and exotic. However, if you find some hitch in your relationship, take time to try out these healthy tips to build up a loving relationship.
About The Author: Alia is a writer/blogger. She loves writing, travelling and reading books. She contributes to Lazar Angelov.