The Daily Message: Reflecting on my past decision to marry
Have you learned anything from your past decisions? Yesterday I received a letter from the Diocese about the “Initial Approval” in regards to the annulment of my marriage to my ex. I started this process in 2008 when my divorce legally came through. I went through the annulment process as a way to formally reflect upon my decisions and to figure out what this process is all about. If you are a Catholic or if you are curious about this process I can say it doesn’t normally take as long as 5 years. The reason why my annulment took so long is because the church in my parish that I am a member of, went through many changes with priests retiring and new priests coming in etc. Also, they have to record and transcribe everything you say in testimony and my initial recordings got lost so I had to do it all over again. To define this process, Wikipedia says,
“In the Catholic Church, a declaration of nullity, commonly called an annulment, is a judgement on the part of an ecclesiastical tribunal determining that the sacrament of marriage was invalidly contracted. Annulment is the procedure, governed by the Church’s canon law, which determines the marriage to be void at its inception (ab initio). A “Declaration of Nullity” is not the dissolution of an existing marriage, but rather a determination that the sacrament was never in fact conferred due to a failure to meet the requirements to enter validly into matrimony and thus a marriage never existed.” Read More!
I should have never gotten married in 2005. I don’t attribute it to being naive or blame anyone else since I was an adult and it was my decision but had I taken a serious look at the person I was marrying rather than making a decision based on EGO and what everyone else thought I would not have gotten married. Of course my daughter would not have been born. The Catholic church defines what must be present to grant an annulment. The best place to learn about all of that is at or with your own priest. As for the purposes of this daily message I must hang my head down low and admit that when it comes to relationships and “falling in love” too fast I have not reflected enough and have made bad decisions. When I think about it, I chose to have two other children and get into relationships where I did not read the red flags and get out of those relationships soon enough. The output of that was that they ( the men) all ran off and I had two more children when I was not married. Having children while not being married is not so unusual today but it comes with a lot of consequences, tough decisions and hardship on single moms raising their kids. It was mentally exhausting for me which is why I am in therapy and trying to stabilize my household. I do not live a glamorous life but I’m doing my best and I have learned some very hard lessons. It’s not where you start but where you finish so I’m happy to say that the mistakes I’ve made in relationships do not DEPRESS me as some people think. I’m in reflective mode and treating the events as some serious stuff and not to be taken lightly. I take dating seriously and I focus on our communication before I progress the relationship further. I look at people’s actions rather than their words to see if they match. I determine my emotional well being as an indicator of whether the relationship can withstand after the “honeymoon phase.”
Day in History
On this day in history, Pablo Picasso was born in 1881. According to History.com, “The work of Picasso, which comprises more than 50,000 paintings, drawings, engravings, sculptures, and ceramics produced over 80 years, is described in a series of overlapping periods. ” He is known for developing Cubism and was a feverish artist producing works until is death in 1973 at the age of 91.
On this day in 1983, the US Invaded the Caribbean island of Grenada in order to fight Cuban military operations and construction of an airstrip on the tiny former British colony. Read more on PBS.
On October 25, 2001 Microsoft released the Windows XP Operating System
Today’s Scripture Reading – Romans 7:18-25
18 And really, I know of nothing good living in me — in my natural self, that is — for though the will to do what is good is in me, the power to do it is not:
19 the good thing I want to do, I never do; the evil thing which I do not want — that is what I do.
20 But every time I do what I do not want to, then it is not myself acting, but the sin that lives in me.
21 So I find this rule: that for me, where I want to do nothing but good, evil is close at my side.
22 In my inmost self I dearly love God’s law,
23 but I see that acting on my body there is a different law which battles against the law in my mind. So I am brought to be a prisoner of that law of sin which lives inside my body.
24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body doomed to death?
If you are in AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) you will be familiar with the daily reflection. These lessons apply to everyone since everyone has an addiction of some kind whether it’s clearly visible like alcohol, drugs, food, or sex OR if it’s intangible or unseen such as rage, anger, depression etc. This is the daily reflection for October 25, 2013.
Without unity, the heart of A.A. would cease to beat; . . .
AS BILL SEES IT,
Without unity I would be unable to recover in A.A. on a daily basis. By practicing unity within my group, with other A.A. members and at all levels of this great Fellowship, I receive a pronounced feeling of knowing that I am a part of a miracle that was divinely inspired. The ability of Bill W. and Dr. Bob, working together and passing it on to other members, tells me that to give it away is to keep it. Unity is oneness and yet the whole Fellowship is for all of us.
From the book Daily Reflections
© Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.