Dating Hell: Taking a leap from your first inferno

Personally I think dating is like a warzone. You can do your best to prepare for anything and have so much anticipation but when that first date finally happens you may be wondering, “Who sunk my battleship.” I was perusing my email when I came across some tips from Rachel DeAlto on how to escape a bad first date.

I can distinctly remember a few funny first date stories from various friends and I’d like to share them here.

1) I need to release my coffee

So my friend met a guy for coffee at a local Starbuck’s. The guy was already there, in fact he seemed to have been there for a long time because he was busy working away at his computer. When she sat down for their first date, he made the comment that he needed to release his coffee. Not knowing what this meant she made the mistake of asking and he told her he had to take a dump. Things sort of went downhill from there and she was just glad she met up with him just for coffee.

2) I dated a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader

In my younger twenties, I went out on a first date with someone who said he was a “VP” of some ABCXYZ natural gas brokerage firm. he constantly went on and on about his accomplishments and said he dated a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. So I asked him how that went for him and he went on and on about how they backstab each other. Then he asked what I liked to do and when I told him that I liked to go to Angelika Film Center and watch independent films he asked me, “Oh, you’re not one of those hippie chicks are you?”

At some point in her life, every woman has experienced the date from hell.

Whether it was a setup by a friend or an OkCupid profile gone wrong, every woman has gone through a terrible date, constantly wishing for a way out of it. Rachel DeAlto, flirt and relationship expert, provides tips for women on how to effectively and confidently get out of a date rut. I know Rachel through her flirting flipMe cards that bring a whole new level of security to traditional face to face and online dating. She shares her tips on bailing out of a first date:

Be honest, but be nice – Do not run to the bathroom and never return. Tell your date that you just aren’t feeling the chemistry and that you think it would be best to not waste an entire night.

Always do coffee first – if you haven’t met before in person, do not start off with a fancy five course meal. Go for a cappuccino or a quick martini, then plan a dinner. It’s a lot easier to cut short a cup of coffee, than mid-way through an appetizer.

Create a (believable) excuse – If honesty is just to hard to dish out, create an excuse to cut the night short. Tell them you have to get home to finish a presentation for work, or that you have to wake up super early to take your friend to the airport.

Put them in the friend zone – Not feeling the spark? Let them know that you think the two of you could be great “friends”. Nothing will kill the mood faster!

Plant a phone call – it is an old trick, but it works. Have a friend or your mom call you 30-40 minutes into when the date is supposed to start. lf the date is going bad, pretend that they need your help immediately (broken down car, breakup with their boyfriend, babysitter cancelled – anything viable). It is completely passive aggressive (as most of these are), but will save their feelings.


More about Rachel DeAlto:


Rachel DeAlto is a Flirting and Communications Expert who is dedicated to helping people communicate more effectively. Her expertise is available to help individuals single and looking for love, those trying to improve their current relationships, or anyone that wants to improve the way they communicate in all facets of their life.


Rachel believes that “flirting” is a facet of the art of communication, and is not just another dirty word. The art of the flirt is about giving compliments, making people feel good, and feeling good about yourself through the positivity you spread. Rachel has always been in touch with her inner flirt, and further developed her communications expertise through her undergraduate degree from the S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications at Syracuse University and later as a practicing trial attorney after receiving her Juris Doctorate at Seton Hall University School of Law.

Rachel is also the Founder and CEO of FlipMe Flirting Cards, which was developed to bring flirting back to the real world and empower women to get in touch with their sassy side. Each pack of FlipMe flirt cards includes 30 cards and a 6 month subscription to The cards contain flirty sayings on the front, and unique codes on the back that let the lucky recipient view your profile and send you messages. This stylish accessory is a simple and intriguing way to break the ice and let someone know you’re interested without divulging your personal details. 

Rachel has been featured on a multitude of media outlets including, iVillage, The Nest, MSN, WPIX, LXTV New York, Cosmo Girl Sirius Radio, Martha Stewart Sirius Radio, Yahoo Shine, and is a featured expert with Her current reel is available at: and radio show:

Rachel is currently in the process of writing her first book, a guide to flirting. Check out for more information.