Some children are quick to warm up to just about anyone while others are very guarded. If you have ever entered into a relationship with someone who had children, you may have found yourself having to work a little harder than you anticipated to earn their trust. You may even be in this situation now and finding yourself a little frustrated. Alternatively, if your child is a little skeptical about new people, you will need to hire a nanny who understands that trust will likely not be earned overnight. Building trust takes effort and patience, but below are some strategies that will help.
Be a Good Listener
Sometimes kids talk so much and carry on that adults start to block much of what they are saying out. This is not always done intentionally; sometimes it just becomes habit. The problem is that if you learn to really listen, you will find that they may be trying to talk to you about problems or their feelings. Don’t dismiss that rambling, there may be an important message in there somewhere. The better listener you are, the more comfortable they will be talking to you in the future.
As a parent, it can be tempting to lie. No matter how harmless you think it is, a lie is a lie. However, when they remember that you promised you would get pizza on Saturday and now it’s Saturday and they see nothing but a lot of vegetables on their plate, your words lose credibility. You can still serve them loads of veggies, if you make homemade pizza at home and add you own toppings.
Always tell the truth, no matter how upset it will make them. Telling them the shot at the doctor won’t hurt will only make it hurt more when they know that you lied.
Don’t Make Promises You Can’t Keep
Kids often try to get you to promise or “swear” to something, and it is easy just to go along with whatever they say to get them to change the subject, but promises are valuable. When you make one, you better have full intentions of doing whatever you have to do to keep it. Telling them that you will try your hardest may not be the answer that they want to hear, but you would rather over-deliver than break a promise.
Lead by Example
It is hard to tell a child that they can’t have leftover cake for breakfast when you are devouring a donut. Really, what’s the difference? If you want a child to trust you then you have to practice what you preach. Do you remember how frustrating it was as a child to hear an adult say “Because I said so” or that they could do something because it’s their house. If you are turning around and saying the same things to your child then you should know how they are feeling. The easiest way to create a bond is by being a positive role model and a good listener.
Letting a child get away with something once, and then disciplining them the next time makes no sense. Children need rules and consistency, and while they may not appreciate it at the time, they will look back and appreciate it later. Letting them text at the dinner table once and then getting mad and threatening to take away their phone the next time just makes you look like you don’t know what you want.
If a child knows they will be grounded or that you are taking their gaming console away for a week if they misbehave, but you don’t follow through, it pretty much tells them that your words are meaningless. Of course, they don’t want to reap the consequence of their actions, but at least it will show that you are honest and consistent. If you hire a nanny, make sure they know that you need to be notified when your children do something that they’re not supposed to, otherwise it just looks like they can get away with anything as long as you are not around.
Hire the perfect nanny, one whom your children will trust from the start. Visit nanny.net for details.
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