It’s a Deep Ellum Date weekend and “Rise” and reflection

There was a slight breeze as I parked on Jackson Street waiting for my date to show up. A little excitement and apprehension because this was our first date. As you know Tinder can be major fodder for blog humor but I had my baby blanket that my great grandmother stowed away in my trunk. I was surprised at the chill in the air as I wrapped myself in it. Just a few minutes more before he would arrive and I decided to snap a few photos of the dusk that darkened the streets. The streetlights dimly did their best to provide the safety of visibility. The streetlights would eventually be helped along by the full moon. I could see it rising clearly through the lens of the iPhone.

Downtown Dallas

The moon is significant to me because I rarely go out on a full moon. The last time I was out on a full moon it was because my older daughter fell and cut her lip in the bathtub. That must have been 5 years ago and if you have ever been to an emergency room during a full moon you will see why I don’t go out on a full moon. Astrologically tonight was different and the next day there would be an eclipse so I figured out with old habits and keep your heart open for new possibilities would be a good step towards growing as a person.

This date and I had talked on the phone a few days ago and reveled a little in our text messages so there was very little to doubt when it came to the mental/communication chemistry part. It just became a matter of seeing if primal physical chemistry was there. I’ve learned from past bad dates that if the earlier conversations are going to hell and a hand basket it just doesn’t make sense to go forward with the date. One of the things he brought up was dutch treat. Honestly, in all of my years in dating I had never gone dutch . . EVER. Actually one time, controlsfreak guy was the only guy that made me pay for my own food and that date was horrible not because it was dutch but because he was just a douche! So when this guy asked about Dutch I was willing for the following reasons:

1) The Deep Ellum Arts Festival was free

2) It was a first date so I put likability and friendship first before romance

3) Going dutch is less pressure and I can manage my own desires and choices because I’m paying for them

Maybe he was testing me about the Dutch thing because he ended up paying anyway. LOL! I called him out on it and I could with every toss of the dollar bill on the table there was a smile of “Yeah I like you enough to know my investment tonight is worth it.”

Deep Ellum Arts Festival

Spring in the city of Dallas means patios, drinks and festivals galore. The Deep Ellum Arts Festival was fun. With vendors, art and a lot of surprises we had a great time, lost the car, spent time at Braindead Brewing a brand new place in Deep Ellum. Deep Ellum or Old East Dallas has a rich history and heritage of being a music and entertainment area. This place has a very rich jazz and blues history and grew into the entertainment area it’s known for today. At some point, it also experienced a lot of crime and now that reputation is subsiding as lofts and new development creep into Deep Ellum. I love the idea of a resurgence within Dallas itself.

Checking out @deepellumarts festival & @braindeadbrew #DEAF2015

A video posted by Zane Aveton (@zaneology) on

Rise and Resurgence

So as Easter came by and went I had a lot to reflect on. This is where the second theme of this post resonates with “Rise and Resurgence.” My date went fantastic and I probably learned much more about myself than I thought. Was there butterflies? Yes. I  have also learned that butterflies can be deceiving. It made me think about who I am and how I’m preparing for the next phase of my life. A friend of mine posted on her wall about the whole debacle in Indiana about businesses not wanting to bake cakes for gay couples that are wanting to get married. My position on this is very subdued. I don’t agree with it, but if the business wants to run out of business on their own than go ahead. The phrase that struck me in the long article was one singular passage which also happens to be a bible verse:

“If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.” ~Matthew 5:41

In other words, rise to a higher standard of love. After just coming off of Easter weekend in celebration of Jesus’ own “rise” or resurrection, it is a good reminder to see the bigger universal picture above and beyond the small stuff or in this instance – cakes. I really don’t understand why wedding cakes are causing this much of an uproar. As for what all this means to me on a personal level, it’s about more than just cakes. Take the verse for instance, it speaks to such a high level where I am forced to do things that are uncomfortable and probably un-welcomed but instead I embrace the necessary responsibility and strive to do more than my fair share. Not because I have to but because it is the right thing to do. This is not martyrdom, this is my responsibility to others and the accountability I put towards myself.

As single parents we are tasked with doing many things we don’t want to do but have to do. Some of us pay child support. Some of us have rigid visitation rules. Many of us have to forego plans to accommodate school schedules and visitation rules. Yet many of us follow all of the rules and still get screwed over. The main thing to remember is that even if the relationship is over we are now still parents first. That is our responsibility so rise to the occasion. Go bigger! Not to show up the other person but to  hold just ourselves accountable. There will be times when you have to decide are we going to eat in the dark or starve in the light. Hopefully many of us will not have those issues. There are those times when the joy and happiness overflow. Even in the happy times, go bigger. I constantly say this, at the end of the day you have to “feed the children” or do whatever it is you need to do. Whatever you focus on should expand so focus on your responsibilities and that way you learn how to make them better, more efficient or how to make more money. It’s about abundance and more so rise up.

Heather Buen

Heather has lived in Dallas-Fort Worth for over 10 years. The quintessential multi-tasker, she splits her time with her children and navigating the city. As a single mom she has a large network of friends, family & supporters – believing in the saying “It takes a village to raise a child.” You can find her on Twitter at @dallassinglemom 

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