I barely made it through the holidays when all the emails started pouring in about how desolate my life was since I was single and that research statistics will back up that fact. OK, maybe I’m being over dramatic but there comes a time when online dating can be fun and then those times when it becomes an absolute chore. I was reading some facts sent to me from Dana over at MarriageMaterial.co and I was pleasantly not surprised about what I learned about the holidays and online dating:
- Longstanding dating sites new membership signups increase by 41 percent the period between Christmas and Valentine’s Day. It’s not just people signing up for accounts and then logging off again — these users are actively trying to connect.
- The week between Christmas and New Year’s is traditionally the busiest of the year for online dating, with researchers believing that a combination of post-Christmas and back-to- work blues, plus New Year’s resolutions to find a partner send millions of people to sites .
- In January, an estimated 3.2 million people will go online in search of a date.
- As the Christmas festivities calm down and things start to return to normal, we re-evaluate our lives, finding the one becomes a priority.
“The holidays bring up a myriad of mixed emotions. Friends get engaged and older relatives harass about when the single are getting married. On one side, most people are happy for their friends who are taking the next step in life; and, on the other side, it highlights that they are still single and no closer to finding THE ONE,” says Dana.
This is all fine and dandy but it reinforces my rule when online dating. Take a break during the holidays and I mean all the way until Valentine’s Day. I say this to be kind and not cruel. I have been online dating for a long time and for some reason during the stressful time of the holidays and the constant fights and breakups prior to Valentine’s Day it just emphasizes why you need to put the focus on you rather than finding a partner.
Dana’s site is great if you are looking for marriage minded individuals or THE One. If you are sure about what you want and you are not just looking to increase your options that is great. However if you plan on playing the field, the field is just too big right now. People have options and that makes the competition very stiff. Personally I have too many competing things going on at this time of the year and I’m not interested in lackluster attention while dating. That’s just my opinion. Many people would disagree with me but one of the many complaints I get from men on dating sites is that the women they meet want to explore their options. Don’t hate, but be up front about that from the beginning and if you tell someone you are exploring other options don’t get mad when their attention for you is not of the “romantic, sweep me off my feet” variety.
The Sunday after New Year’s
Mashable.com just printed a story that today is the busiest day for online dating. Match.com and Plenty of Fish are getting ready for a record number of new profiles and account sign ups. Of course you can always use sites like Tinder that are completely free. As reported by Match.com; 45% more single parents are signing up via their online dating site. Congrats to the single parents out there entering the dating arena, especially for the first time. Now breathe and keep an open mind. As we begin the new year, people set goals and create priorities about having a better life. Many believe that a partner will do that for them. Wrong way of thinking. If you don’t have your shit together from the get go, you will not get a partner that will do it for you.
As I was reviewing Google Trends about what people were searching for around the world, the theme of Love came up. In 2014, people were searching for a partner and looking for love. You have to commend the whole process.
Is the way we seek soulmates changing?
2014 saw ‘dating app’ searches reach their highest point in history, while ‘internet dating’ decreased, having peaked in 2006. Romance was alive and well, with ‘find girlfriend’ searched 100x more than ‘find boyfriend.’ Despite the latest tech, we strive for the traditional, with searches for ‘marriage’ outpacing ‘divorce.’
As relationships change so does the way we search for love. I have tried a new way of how I look at relationships and the results for me have been spectacular permeating other areas of my life such as my career and creative expression. It has created a new openness in all of my relationships and I finally “feel” the way I was meant to feel about myself. Within that realm I have recently made a love connection myself something I would not have normally done during the holidays. According to Google the search for “Propose Day” increased 3 fold in 2014 for the popular day celebrated the second day of Valentine’s Week. Also, in 2014 the search for Gifts for my Boyfriend was double the search for Gifts for my Girlfriend. I thought that was interesting and demonstrates the increase in a woman’s buying power. If I stay with my dude long enough he might be getting a Rolex of course I just put this sentence in here to see if he actually reads my blog posts. He would definitely deserve it. The last thing to remember is that more people searched for “Am I in Love” rather than “Am I Alone.” What that expresses to me is that people are meeting each other and hungering for a connection. Read more about Google Trends on Love here!
So why should you not begin online dating at the start of the new year?
There is too much competition and too many options now for the dating newbie. If your expectations are not set properly you are setting yourself up for disappointment if your expectations are not met. Couple this with the list of resolutions you have and I’m willing to bet you won’t stick to many of them by Feb 1. It’s just logic and I don’t intend to be mean and hurtful I’m just stating my observations. You should start online dating when you are your happiest with yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Dating and relationships are not hard but we create expectations or make things so personal that it becomes hard. I also prescribe to a 70/30 rule meaning that I live by the rule and not the exception. Now this is a great time to get a large number of matches and it’s inevitable that you will meet more people due to the law of statistics. However that is not a guarantee to happiness. If you do go ahead and sign up for an account, please visit my list of the top online dating sites in 2014 and see what each one has to offer.