I had published an article about some of the past mistakes I had made on my online dating profile and wanted to include some excerpts from that posting on Examiner.com: Be the Toast of the Town Prevent Online Dating Profile Disasters
So in my 10 years (I was married and had relationships here and there) I’ve used a lot of online dating services mainly because being a transplant to Dallas, I didn’t have a lot of friends. As I dated and networked I made a lot of friends, dated, had relationships and of course had heartbreak. I’m making my way back from that and your Dallas Single Mom has some help to ask of you. After reading this post, my fellow Online Relationships Examiner – Bryan Way wants to know:
Have you ever used an online dating site and what was your experience? I’ll give you all the details on how to participate in this voluntary site at the end of this post.
As I look back on my online dating profile I can definitely see the changes and the maturity that has taken place going from my twenties into my thirties. A part of me laughs because I can’t believe I wrote that. But without giving specifics, here’s my top 5 mistakes:
1. Putting yourself down or apologizing for who you are? Have you ever read a profile of a single mom, apologizing for who she is? Statements such as: “I’m such a klutz,” or “I’m the epitome of a typical blonde bubblehead” or “I have such a busy schedule working and taking care of my child as a single mom, I don’t know how I have time to date.”
2. Stating that your children come first – Here’s the statement: I just want you to know that my children come first. So if you don’t like that, then move on! That is something that should be universally understood. Anyone that is willing to check out a profile of a parent is fully aware that children are important that it does not need to be said.
3. Don’t bring up Exes or your Divorce in your Online profile – Discussing your ex is not good for the date but also not good for the online dating profile. Here are some of the statements: “After 8 years of a loveless marriage, I finally divorced.” It also proves that you are not ready to move into the dating scene, since any potential suitors will be compared to your ex. Leave information about your ex or your divorce issues out of your date. The date is about you and not your ex.
4. Negative comments or a negative laundry list of “don’t want” items – Here’s the statements: “If you are a loser don’t contact me” or “I’m not looking for someone that’s into playing games or lies.” These are such negative statements and don’t do justice in portraying your personality. Instead of asking for what you don’t want, try reinforcing not only positive language of what you want but how’d you react or feel to a good gesture or personality trait. For example, if you like to run and want to reinforce that you are open to regular running sessions with a committed partner, you could say something like “I really enjoy running and would be ecstatic to find a great running partner or coach as I plan on training for the White Rock Lake Marathon.” A statement like this accomplishes a few things: Establishes your hobbies and interests, sets the tone for your level of fitness and body image type, encourages continued engagement after the first date in relation to training for a marathon which is not a one day thing, much more positive – if you are interested in a more committed individual anyone that is just playing the field will not be interested in running with you on your training program. I can guarantee that.
5. Total Lack of Imagination – Ever read a headline that stated the obvious? “Single Mom Devoted to her 3 Kids” Try using a catchy quote that exemplifies your lifestyle or you could be more creative in what you are looking for such as “Sick of Playing solitaire.” – We are definitely loud and proud of that but you are defined by more than your relationship status or how many kids you have. While you may be trying to do a potential suitor a favor, it lacks imagination. The details should be subtle and stated in the content. For instance, you could say that I enjoy travelling with my children to . . . . or “My 2 boys and I are huge Texas Rangers fans.” You are getting small details out of the way during the course of the conversation.
Some random dating advice sites and articles that you may like include the following:
Great Expectations – online dating site with planning activitities
Top Dating Sites– has a listing of all the sites, database of sites and site reviews
How to join the survey? Bryan is looking for a few good men and women. If you or anyone you know wants to participate, please contact Bryan below. Here are the questions he’s asking:
• Have you used a dating site? Why or why not?
• Have you ever found a date on a dating site? Multiple dates?
• Will you or would you use a dating site again? Do you continue to use one now?
• What is the biggest advantage to online dating? What is the biggest disadvantage?
• Do any of your friends and family refuse to use dating sites? Do you know why or why not?
If you would like to help more, please include your sex and age in the message. More information, such as sexual preference and relationship status, will better assist the parsing of statistics. Please note that stories may form the basis for future articles, but I will be certain to revise the language and your anonymity will be paramount.