Shared calendars for custody schedules, extracurricular activities, summer camps and family travel take a lot of confusion out of managing life in a …
I barely made it through the holidays when all the emails started pouring in about how desolate my life was since I was single and that research statistics will back up that fact. OK, maybe I’m being over dramatic but there comes a time when online dating can be fun and then those times when it becomes an absolute chore. I was reading some facts sent to me from Dana over at MarriageMaterial.co and I was pleasantly not surprised about what I learned about the holidays and online dating:
- Longstanding dating sites new membership signups increase by 41 percent the period between Christmas and Valentine’s Day. It’s not just people signing up for accounts and then logging off again — these users are actively trying to connect.
- The week between Christmas and New Year’s is traditionally the busiest of the year for online dating, with researchers believing that a combination of post-Christmas and back-to- work blues, plus New Year’s resolutions to find a partner send millions of people to sites .
- In January, an estimated 3.2 million people will go online in search of a date.
- As the Christmas festivities calm down and things start to return to normal, we re-evaluate our lives, finding the one becomes a priority.
“The holidays bring up a myriad of mixed emotions. Friends get engaged and older relatives harass about when the single are getting married. On one side, most people are happy for their friends who are taking the next step in life; and, on the other side, it highlights that they are still single and no closer to finding THE ONE,” says Dana.
This is all fine and dandy but it reinforces my rule when online dating. Take a break during the holidays and I mean all the way until Valentine’s Day. I say this to be kind and not cruel. I have been online dating for a long time and for some reason during the stressful time of the holidays and the constant fights and breakups prior to Valentine’s Day it just emphasizes why you need to put the focus on you rather than finding a partner.
Dana’s site is great if you are looking for marriage minded individuals or THE One. If you are sure about what you want and you are not just looking to increase your options that is great. However if you plan on playing the field, the field is just too big right now. People have options and that makes the competition very stiff. Personally I have too many competing things going on at this time of the year and I’m not interested in lackluster attention while dating. That’s just my opinion. Many people would disagree with me but one of the many complaints I get from men on dating sites is that the women they meet want to explore their options. Don’t hate, but be up front about that from the beginning and if you tell someone you are exploring other options don’t get mad when their attention for you is not of the “romantic, sweep me off my feet” variety.
The Sunday after New Year’s
Mashable.com just printed a story that today is the busiest day for online dating. Match.com and Plenty of Fish are getting ready for a record number of new profiles and account sign ups. Of course you can always use sites like Tinder that are completely free. As reported by Match.com; 45% more single parents are signing up via their online dating site. Congrats to the single parents out there entering the dating arena, especially for the first time. Now breathe and keep an open mind. As we begin the new year, people set goals and create priorities about having a better life. Many believe that a partner will do that for them. Wrong way of thinking. If you don’t have your shit together from the get go, you will not get a partner that will do it for you.
As I was reviewing Google Trends about what people were searching for around the world, the theme of Love came up. In 2014, people were searching for a partner and looking for love. You have to commend the whole process.
Is the way we seek soulmates changing?
2014 saw ‘dating app’ searches reach their highest point in history, while ‘internet dating’ decreased, having peaked in 2006. Romance was alive and well, with ‘find girlfriend’ searched 100x more than ‘find boyfriend.’ Despite the latest tech, we strive for the traditional, with searches for ‘marriage’ outpacing ‘divorce.’
As relationships change so does the way we search for love. I have tried a new way of how I look at relationships and the results for me have been spectacular permeating other areas of my life such as my career and creative expression. It has created a new openness in all of my relationships and I finally “feel” the way I was meant to feel about myself. Within that realm I have recently made a love connection myself something I would not have normally done during the holidays. According to Google the search for “Propose Day” increased 3 fold in 2014 for the popular day celebrated the second day of Valentine’s Week. Also, in 2014 the search for Gifts for my Boyfriend was double the search for Gifts for my Girlfriend. I thought that was interesting and demonstrates the increase in a woman’s buying power. If I stay with my dude long enough he might be getting a Rolex of course I just put this sentence in here to see if he actually reads my blog posts. He would definitely deserve it. The last thing to remember is that more people searched for “Am I in Love” rather than “Am I Alone.” What that expresses to me is that people are meeting each other and hungering for a connection. Read more about Google Trends on Love here!
So why should you not begin online dating at the start of the new year?
There is too much competition and too many options now for the dating newbie. If your expectations are not set properly you are setting yourself up for disappointment if your expectations are not met. Couple this with the list of resolutions you have and I’m willing to bet you won’t stick to many of them by Feb 1. It’s just logic and I don’t intend to be mean and hurtful I’m just stating my observations. You should start online dating when you are your happiest with yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Dating and relationships are not hard but we create expectations or make things so personal that it becomes hard. I also prescribe to a 70/30 rule meaning that I live by the rule and not the exception. Now this is a great time to get a large number of matches and it’s inevitable that you will meet more people due to the law of statistics. However that is not a guarantee to happiness. If you do go ahead and sign up for an account, please visit my list of the top online dating sites in 2014 and see what each one has to offer.
One of the worst fears of parents is drug use in children. Drug dependence can lead to all sorts of trouble, all of which waste a child’s future and his other innate talents. Thus, it is important for parents to always be on the look out for things that could indicate problems in order to face and fix serious issues as soon as possible. Parents should also not feel alone in this endeavor as schools are also trying their best to discourage drug use to protect youngsters from addiction. School authorities are aware that many drug peddlers often lurk near school grounds to draw teens. In addition, educational institutions want to safeguard children from others in the school community who also surreptitiously sell dangerous drugs.
Educating the Youth
Education is key as this helps create awareness as regards the detrimental effects of drug abuse. Schools can also highlight the negative effects of drug use not only on the user, but also on the user’s family, friends and other relationships. It’s also helpful to inform the youth about the legal consequences of substance abuse, including the punishment for the possession and selling of drugs in school property.
Students these days can now be searched to see if they are carrying illegal substances and also weapons. Searching no longer needs parental consent. This is often done near gates or entrances, and is performed by a school’s security team.
Random Drug Testing
In efforts to discourage drug use, many schools are now conducting random drug tests on students. Those who test positive are dealt with accordingly. Most educational institutions use proactive methods in handling drug users. Since children are young and impressionable, the goal is to rehabilitate rather than punish.
Schools often do not have the equipment and staff may not possess the knowledge to conduct random drug tests. This is why they hire experts who can do such tests. Most of the time, companies that carry out these kinds of tests are certified. Professionals can also easily identify and recognize students suffering from substance abuse. Apart from performing tests and identifying drug users, these experts can also refer students and schools to other professionals who can aid and help heal young drug users.
Roles of Teachers
Children often look up to their teachers. Therefore, schoolteachers, including coaches, school staff and administrators, should strive to be good role models for kids. They can help youngsters is so many different ways.
– Educators can show children that they can get help and support from people and groups who are there for them. This allows young users to feel that they are not alone.
– It is also very helpful if teachers, as well as guidance counselors, listen to kids’ problems. They should be able to tell if teens are having more serious problems so that they can readily assist when needed.
– Teachers should also encourage kids to join clubs or sports. By fostering a more active and busy lifestyle, kids are removed from circumstances that make them vulnerable to becoming drug users.
Claire Duvall has been writing blogs and articles for many years. She specializes in issues related to crimes and personal injuries. She also writes for Elliot Savitz Law and other respected attorneys.
Divorce is hard enough as it is—but when you factor your kids into the situation…it becomes all the more difficult. And because the idea of the split hurting your children is far more painful to you than the thought of being run over by an eighteen wheeler in the rain with your soon-to-be ex-husband behind the wheel, you might be struggling with how to break the news to your offspring. In order to handle this difficult situation in the best way possible, be sure to take a look at the following tips for telling your kids that you and their daddy are getting a divorce:
#1: Devise a plan. Before you jump headfirst into the conversation, try to discuss it with your spouse first so that you can clearly communicate to your kids what exactly is going on. This might be a difficult time in your relationship to agree with the man, but do your best to put aside your differences and agree with one another about what to say and who will say what. Get the story straight so that you don’t contradict each other, argue and confuse your kids even more than they likely already are.
#2: Have the talk together. If you and your husband can be in the same room without throwing things at one another and you are in a place to cooperate for the sake of your kids, it is best that you are both there when you tell them about the divorce. Although your marriage is ending, this will give them the assurance that both of you are willing to try and work together as parents and that you are still a family despite the split.
#3: Be honest. If your husband cheated on you with his secretary and you can barely even look at the man because all you can see are the scandalous pictures that you found of her on his phone, it’s gonna be difficult to fight the urge to take to his closet with a blow torch…but your kids don’t need to know this. While it’s important to spare them all of the glory details of what led to the termination of your marriage with their father, it’s also important that you are honest and not give them the sugarcoated, false hope of reconciliation. Be realistic in explaining to your kids that your life as a family is going to change and prepare them for what lies ahead.
#4: Avoid getting emotional. Sure, you are devastated and it took all of your power to get out of bed this morning, wash the mascara from your puffy face, turn the Sinead O’Conner off repeat and brave the day. But brave it you must—especially when it comes to sharing the news with your kids. It’s an emotional situation, but if your children see you fall apart, it is going to scare them and add to their anxiety. Kids worry and if they see that you aren’t handling the news well yourself, they may be afraid to disclose to you how they are really feeling inside. You’re the parent, so let them know that they can rely on you.
#5: Don’t blame. It’s easy to point the finger at your husband for the downfall of your relationship—but you don’t want your kids to have to choose sides in a war—that’s not fair. When you tell your children about the divorce, it’s important to keep things as peaceful as possible by not putting the blame on anyone.
#6: Reassure your kids of your love for them. We have arrived at probably the most important tip for having this conversation with your kids. Because little ones often get the idea that they are the reason for the divorce, they may be wondering had they had gotten better grades or ate their vegetables if maybe you and your husband would stay together. Do your best to reassure them that nothing they did or could have done would have impacted your decision to split—it has to do with you and your husband—not them. Let them know that no matter what happens your love for them will not change.
#7: Let your kids react. The news of the divorce may or may not come as a surprise to your children, but there is no script for how such a serious, life-changing conversation will go. Let it flow naturally and allow a space for them to openly share their feelings and ask questions. Be sensitive to their reactions and prepare for anger, sadness, fear and confusion.
Sabrina Jackson is a guest post author who enjoys sharing her tips for everything related to divorce. In addition, Sabrina is a contributor for Best Dating Sites where she helps singles along the path to finding love or companionship online.