There was also one mention of a single mom, a growing group that politicians have increasingly been talking about ever since President Bill Clinton …
Disclaimer: I had the pleasure to work with the wonderful people at Zillow.com to provide some fantastic insight into looking for great home locations for single people in the Dallas-Fort Worth Area. Check out his suggestions if you are single millenial, divorced, a single parent, or a single baby boomer. Everything you could need is in this post.
By Nick Elam of Zillow
Whether you’re enjoying the single life or are in search of love, Dallas is a limitless place to be single. No matter what your situation is, finding a home with the right balance of social hotspots, reasonable commute times and low cost of living is important. However, it’s hard to know which neighborhoods provide all of these factors prior to moving, especially when you’re doing it alone. When looking for homes, Dallas is a great place for singles.
Potential homebuyers in the Dallas-Fort Worth metro can expect high competition as inventory is low in this sellers’ market. Home values went up 8.2 percent in the last year, and Zillow predicts values will rise another 5.5 percent in the coming year. Therefore, investing in property in the metro could be financially advantageous. Dallas homes have a median sale price of $191,555 and renters pay a median monthly rent cost of $1,325.
Many singles rent, instead of buy, for flexibility and affordability. Zillow’s breakeven horizon calculates the amount of time renters must reside in a home for the collective costs of renting to exceed those of buying. Residents who continue to rent beyond the horizon begin to lose money that homeowners would gain. The breakeven horizon is set at 1.3 years for the Dallas-Fort Worth Metro. Therefore, prospective singles planning on staying longer than 1.3 years should evaluate their budgets to decide whether making a down payment is within reach before renting.
The city is home to many singles and the likelihood of meeting someone new is strong. Singles make up 56.6 percent of Dallas’ 1,206,228 residents. Out of the people who moved to Dallas last year, 4.9 percent were single. Also, the city has 23 potential date spots per 10,000 people, making it an ideal hub for meeting and mingling with new, Dallas singles.
Affordability is a large factor in house hunting. Finding a cost-effective home within close proximity to jobs and hotspots is a challenge. Where can singles find this type of Dallas real estate?
Formed by 15 individual districts, Downtown Dallas offers singles a variety of housing options close to the business district and major social hotspots. Explore each districts’ residential attractions and atmospheres to find an area that fits your lifestyle and budget.
Dallas singles have a median disposable income of $21,577. Disposable income is determined by the median income of Dallas singles minus the median rent price. With $21,577, singles can afford to splurge on the extra rent costs. However, some areas may require living with roommates as each district is priced differently. A less pricey option, Cedar Crest has a median monthly rent cost of $800, whereas the Arts District has higher median monthly rent costs of $1,522. Compare affordability with lifestyle to select the right area for you.
Singles interested in moving to the Dallas-Fort Worth area can find ideal spaces close to jobs and social venues. Depending on your situation, buying or renting may be a factor in your home search, too. Whether you’re interested in a home downtown or searching elsewhere in Dallas, singles can find homes to fit their lifestyles.
I probably could have come up with a thousand different date ideas since this is the question I get asked a lot. Finding the right event for a special date whether it’s your first date, your anniversary, Valentine’s Day or any other special event is my specialty. I’m a dating concierge and people hire me to create a special dating night for their beloved. Here is just a sample list of 100 date night ideas that you could do in Dallas. Some of these are generic enough you can do them in any city. Take for example visit an art museum is something that can be done where ever there is an art museum. This is not a top list and it’s in no particular order or category. There are also a ton more suggestions that you could recommend. If you have a suggestion not on the list put it in the comments and I’ll add it. If you are a business that wants to let me know that you can provide services for any of these ideas also let me know and contact me.
- Cuddle up by the fire with a glass of wine – My Tinder profile was blowing up with guys using the word cuddle
- Make it a movie night at home: Now that we can stream movies from anywhere and NetFlix is a buddy to many this is a lot easier now.
- Visit the Dallas Art Museum – Once a month they have late night events and admission is always free
- Go to a paint and sip class such as Painting with a Twist – They have many of them all over the DFW metroplex
- Order a charcuterie board – I like the one at FT33
- Take a cooking class
- Take a wine tour
- Head to Reunion Tower and check out the city view
- Go to a Dallas Mavericks Game at the American Airlines Center
- Check out some local Dallas Craft Brews and take a craft brewery tour – like the one they have at Deep Ellum Brewing Company.
- Head to Medieval Times
- Take a horse drawn carriage ride – check out the West End or Oak Lawn. Especially at Christmas where you can tour the lights in Highland Park.
- Head to a hookah bar – not quite yet into the Vape scene but like to smoke on water pipe every once in a while. Try on Greenville.
- Take a fitness class together
- Try Yoga – You can do this for free at Klyde Warren Park
- Get a facial together
- Do your nails and get a manicure and pedicure together
- Go to a Korean spa – if you have never experienced one it is a must visit. Enjoy steam rooms to detox the body.
- Go Antiquing – check out Deep Ellum and other local antique shops.
- Go paddle boarding – I like Stand Up Paddle as they operate in many locations throughout DFW. They even have a couple’s retreat.
- Try Cycling – whether you are taking a spin class or actually touring the town on two wheels it’s great exercise and produces endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.
- Jogging on the Katy Trail – People watching as you strut your stuff and your wireless headphones
- Sailing on White Rock Lake – There are a few sailing clubs but you can always check out The White Rock Lake boat club.
- Head to the for a little science fun
- Take a walk at the Dallas Zoo
- Take a Dallas Architecture Tour – walking tours are available monthly
- Try Karaoke at a local Dallas Dive the Dallas Observer has a good top list of karaoke bars.
- Watch a Burlesque Show – typically on Friday nights you can find a good show in Dallas. Try DFWBurlesque or Viva Dallas Burlesque
- Go to a strip club – Dallas has many
- Check out a honkey tonk – You haven’t experienced Texas unless you have experienced a honky tonk. Adair’s is the best per the Dallas Observer
- Ride a mechanical bull – reenact that scene in Urban Cowboy over and over again. Try Gilley’s Dallas for that.
- Go bowling – too many places to mention and many places have a combo of laser tag, bar, arcade games and pool. I will say a more adult atmosphere I found in Fort Worth (I know it’s not Dallas) at Lucky Strike.
- Play Laser Tag
- Take a photography class – There are a ton of photography classes available that you can take together. Even if you don’t take a class exploring places and photographing them together is fun and you preserve memories.
- Take an art class at El Centro College – They have great classes and it’s centrally located downtown. Ride the DART together.
- Visit the Frontiers of Flight Museum
- Get a couple’s massage
- Go Juicing – I’ve enjoyed the detox at Roots
- Sample Chocolates
- Eat some good Texas BBQ – I’m so not going to tell you where to go BUT I will give you great resources such as Daniel Vaughan over at Texas Monthly with their BBQ tours, Neil over at ILiveinDallas or just follow Dallas Foodie. One of my faves happens to be Pecan Lodge
- Lounge by a fire pit – either do this at home or check out Dallas Foodies list of restaurants with awesome fireplaces.
- Catch a Dallas Stars Game – this is Hockey. I know nothing about hockey but my man loves hockey so I’m going to learn something.
- Ride the trolley on McKinney avenue – It’s called the McKinney Avenue Transit Authority. It’s also free to ride.
- Ride DART – just using Dallas’ rail system is interesting. You can go all the way up to Denton through Collin County and you can also ride the Trinity Railway Express to Fort Worth. For a few bucks you get a tour.
- Catch an indie film at a local historic theater – you have Texas Theater, Lakewood, Inwood and many others. I love the art deco design of many of these places. Most towns and cities in Texas have a historic theater and it’s a wonder to visit and tour if possible or take in a show. Some even have bars in them.
- Head to a Lakewood Dive Bar – Any dive bar will do but I have been to Lakewood Landing, Cock and Bull and The Goat. Cock and Bull has good food but these bars are all dark.
- Take dance lessons: salsa, flamenco, swing, the two step
- Take music classes: piano, guitar
- Go to a small concert at a place you don’t normally go to listen to a band you’ve never heard of (Or have). Check out anything in Deep Ellum, Lower Greenville, downtown at City Tavern, South Side Ballroom, just support small independent bands.
- Go on a local food tour – a lot of places now do food tours where you hop around and sample food at different restaurants.
- Sign up for a tough mudder – Active racing, getting dirty, go for it
- Go shooting – Texans love their guns. Especially in Arlington and Mansfield
- Try a dinner cruise – Lake Ray Hubbard and Lake Lewisville have companies that do this
- Head to the opera – Dallas and Fort Worth have good opera houses.
- See a musical or theater show
- Go to a comedy club
- Go scuba diving – There are a ton of scuba companies that will teach you how to scuba
- Play pool at a pool hall
- Take a pole dancing class together
- Go to Ikea and build furniture – Head to IKEA in Frisco for some furniture building fun or for something low key you can always play with Legos.
- Venture around Uptown and visit open houses – one of my favorite things to do is grab a latte and walk around the open houses in Uptown on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon
- Test drive cars at local dealerships – Interested in a luxury model head to a local dealer and take a test drive
- Head to a local film festival – Dallas has many
- Indoor skydiving
- See a Drive in Movie – you can head to Ennis, or Fort Worth for this backseat cuddling treasure of pop culture
- Visit the –
- Play Board Games
- Bird Watching at Cedar Ridge Nature Preserve
- Go hang out at the park or go to Klyde Warren Park
- Check out some food trucks- they also have these at Klyde Warren Park
- Go have some coffee – I enjoy Cultivar Coffee a lot and they have awesome breakfast tacos.
- Get some tacos – see above or you can head to Fuel City
- Play poker at a bar – They have this at
- Bet on horses – see Lone Star Park above
- Shoot some golf balls
- Head to a record store
- Read some comics at the Comic book store – We like Keith’s Comics.
- Go ice skating
- Play video games at an arcade
- Cheese making classes – Mozzarella Cheese company is my favorite for this with cheese making classes and pairing classes
- Create your own cakes – Scribble Cakes comes to your home or office. Set some couples up together and you can all double date making cakes.
- Go to the nightclub
- See a cover band
- People Watch in Uptown
- Have dinner at a nice restaurant – I’d like to recommend Dallas Foodie and some of her review especially this one for cozy fireplace restaurants
- Rent a hotel room – you have so many beautiful hotels around Dallas – The Ritz Carlton, The Mansion on Turtle Creek, The Hilton Anatole, Hotel ZaZa, the NYLO. Many options here.
- Have brunch – Dallas is a brunch city so many options
- Make dinner together at home
- Bake together
- Stargazing – anywhere you can go outside and look at the lights or the stars
- Visit the Nasher Sculpture Center
- Sneak a kiss under the origami cranes at the Crow Collection of Asian Art
- Check out Dealey Plaza
- Window shop at Neiman’s and hang out at the Zodiac Café
- Hang out in the courtyard at NorthPark Center
- Take photos at the Dallas Contemporary in the Design District
- Check out produce at the Dallas Farmers Market
- Enjoy a craft cocktail from a Dallas speakeasy
- Add your suggestion in the comments below . . . . .
None of these are paid for links and I did not receive any compensation for mentioning these places.
Alia has written another great post about healthy relationships. Enjoy this read especially the part about creating a secure environment. Please let her know what you think in the comments and share, share, share!
Relationships are not a simple thing, they reflect everything what you feel about you and your partner. When you see some bad day in it, you can find your partner difficult to handle thus making your relationship bad to worse. However, if you have a strong and healthy kind of relationship, you have one of the best supports in life. Having a loving relationships help in improving the other aspects of your life and strengthen your body soul and mind along with making the couple as one perfect and happy unit. This is the reason relationships are considered as investment, the more you are putting in it the better are the returns. In order to build up a loving relationship, you should consider some healthy tips, which are as discussed below.
Develop a safe environment
The important healthy tip to consider for building up a healthy relationship is to create a safe and secure kind of environment wherein you could share openly along with trusting each other without any fear. You are not supposed to interrupt while you see your partner speaking up and sharing something. Never mind if you have to put your hand over your mouth to stop yourself and allow your partner speak. In relationship people fight, but at such junctures you need to be a fair player- so learn to fight fairly. No need for name calling, or giving threats, etc. At the same time, don’t hesitate to apologize when you know you should. If you see losing your temper, better get rid of it by going to some other room or take a shower to calm down yourself. Always, remember, anger is the biggest enemy and not your partner.
Keep the facts out of the feelings
Look out for the feelings and beliefs, which erupted the conflict, simply ask this to yourself. Do you find something in your past, which has been influencing the way you see the current situation. One of the key questions, which you need to answer – is this about any person or simply deals about you? What is the real truth behind all these things? The moment you are able to separate the facts from all your feelings, you could end up seeing your partner in a clear manner and thus effectively resolve the issues seeking the help of this crystal clarity.
Connecting with several parts of yourself
Everyone on earth is certainly not a solo instrument. People are similar to a choir or any orchestra where you could see several types of voices coming out at the same time. You need to check what the different parts of your body including your mind, heart, body and gut are saying. For instance, you may see your mind saying to leave your partner, but your heart says that you really love her. Allow your different kinds of voices to speak to one other. This will help you in finding out the right answer that comes from your whole personality and not from a single part in you.
Cultivate and develop compassion
Take time to practice for observing yourself and your partner without going judgmental. Some portion of your body could be the judge; however, you are not supposed to identify the same since these judgments close the doors of wisdom. Contrary to judgment is compassion. You live with compassion; you often remain connected, open and always accessible for a respectful dialogue with your fellow partner. If you put yourself into practice of seeing your partner with compassion, you end up getting more amounts of power to select your response instead of simply reacting.
Develop a ‘We’ rather than living with two ‘I’s’
The base of things like growth, development and having mutually supportive kind of relationship has to be connected and at the same time separate. In any co-dependent kinds of relationships, everyone seems to be sacrificing something for their partner and compromising over the relationship if you look at the overall picture. However, if you choose to remain connected and separate as well, each and every individual ‘I’ simply adds to embark with a creation of strong unity called as ‘we’, which happens to be much stronger and better than the two separate ‘I’s. The differences between the two partners are certainly not the negatives. At times you may fear that the differences between you and your partner could make you feel that you are an incompatible couple, however, these things simply can make your relationship excitement and good fire.
Invest some time for your relationship
Regardless of the fact that you are busy person or you happen to be important person at your workplace; you have to spend some time in your relationship. This will foster the love and relationship between you and your partner. Take time to try things like playdates, moving out, having dinner together or a holiday could help you in nurturing your relationship. Make sure you create a sacred kind of mutual space in both of you by simply shutting all the digital and technological things. Like any garden, the more quality time you spend with each other the more you would enjoy in your relationship.
As said, loving relationships are lifetime investments; hence you should not leave any stone unturned to keep it alive and exotic. However, if you find some hitch in your relationship, take time to try out these healthy tips to build up a loving relationship.
About The Author: Alia is a writer/blogger. She loves writing, travelling and reading books. She contributes to Lazar Angelov.
I barely made it through the holidays when all the emails started pouring in about how desolate my life was since I was single and that research statistics will back up that fact. OK, maybe I’m being over dramatic but there comes a time when online dating can be fun and then those times when it becomes an absolute chore. I was reading some facts sent to me from Dana over at MarriageMaterial.co and I was pleasantly not surprised about what I learned about the holidays and online dating:
- Longstanding dating sites new membership signups increase by 41 percent the period between Christmas and Valentine’s Day. It’s not just people signing up for accounts and then logging off again — these users are actively trying to connect.
- The week between Christmas and New Year’s is traditionally the busiest of the year for online dating, with researchers believing that a combination of post-Christmas and back-to- work blues, plus New Year’s resolutions to find a partner send millions of people to sites .
- In January, an estimated 3.2 million people will go online in search of a date.
- As the Christmas festivities calm down and things start to return to normal, we re-evaluate our lives, finding the one becomes a priority.
“The holidays bring up a myriad of mixed emotions. Friends get engaged and older relatives harass about when the single are getting married. On one side, most people are happy for their friends who are taking the next step in life; and, on the other side, it highlights that they are still single and no closer to finding THE ONE,” says Dana.
This is all fine and dandy but it reinforces my rule when online dating. Take a break during the holidays and I mean all the way until Valentine’s Day. I say this to be kind and not cruel. I have been online dating for a long time and for some reason during the stressful time of the holidays and the constant fights and breakups prior to Valentine’s Day it just emphasizes why you need to put the focus on you rather than finding a partner.
Dana’s site is great if you are looking for marriage minded individuals or THE One. If you are sure about what you want and you are not just looking to increase your options that is great. However if you plan on playing the field, the field is just too big right now. People have options and that makes the competition very stiff. Personally I have too many competing things going on at this time of the year and I’m not interested in lackluster attention while dating. That’s just my opinion. Many people would disagree with me but one of the many complaints I get from men on dating sites is that the women they meet want to explore their options. Don’t hate, but be up front about that from the beginning and if you tell someone you are exploring other options don’t get mad when their attention for you is not of the “romantic, sweep me off my feet” variety.
The Sunday after New Year’s
Mashable.com just printed a story that today is the busiest day for online dating. Match.com and Plenty of Fish are getting ready for a record number of new profiles and account sign ups. Of course you can always use sites like Tinder that are completely free. As reported by Match.com; 45% more single parents are signing up via their online dating site. Congrats to the single parents out there entering the dating arena, especially for the first time. Now breathe and keep an open mind. As we begin the new year, people set goals and create priorities about having a better life. Many believe that a partner will do that for them. Wrong way of thinking. If you don’t have your shit together from the get go, you will not get a partner that will do it for you.
As I was reviewing Google Trends about what people were searching for around the world, the theme of Love came up. In 2014, people were searching for a partner and looking for love. You have to commend the whole process.
Is the way we seek soulmates changing?
2014 saw ‘dating app’ searches reach their highest point in history, while ‘internet dating’ decreased, having peaked in 2006. Romance was alive and well, with ‘find girlfriend’ searched 100x more than ‘find boyfriend.’ Despite the latest tech, we strive for the traditional, with searches for ‘marriage’ outpacing ‘divorce.’
As relationships change so does the way we search for love. I have tried a new way of how I look at relationships and the results for me have been spectacular permeating other areas of my life such as my career and creative expression. It has created a new openness in all of my relationships and I finally “feel” the way I was meant to feel about myself. Within that realm I have recently made a love connection myself something I would not have normally done during the holidays. According to Google the search for “Propose Day” increased 3 fold in 2014 for the popular day celebrated the second day of Valentine’s Week. Also, in 2014 the search for Gifts for my Boyfriend was double the search for Gifts for my Girlfriend. I thought that was interesting and demonstrates the increase in a woman’s buying power. If I stay with my dude long enough he might be getting a Rolex of course I just put this sentence in here to see if he actually reads my blog posts. He would definitely deserve it. The last thing to remember is that more people searched for “Am I in Love” rather than “Am I Alone.” What that expresses to me is that people are meeting each other and hungering for a connection. Read more about Google Trends on Love here!
So why should you not begin online dating at the start of the new year?
There is too much competition and too many options now for the dating newbie. If your expectations are not set properly you are setting yourself up for disappointment if your expectations are not met. Couple this with the list of resolutions you have and I’m willing to bet you won’t stick to many of them by Feb 1. It’s just logic and I don’t intend to be mean and hurtful I’m just stating my observations. You should start online dating when you are your happiest with yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Dating and relationships are not hard but we create expectations or make things so personal that it becomes hard. I also prescribe to a 70/30 rule meaning that I live by the rule and not the exception. Now this is a great time to get a large number of matches and it’s inevitable that you will meet more people due to the law of statistics. However that is not a guarantee to happiness. If you do go ahead and sign up for an account, please visit my list of the top online dating sites in 2014 and see what each one has to offer.
“I know what you are . . . You are a sapiosexual.” when I received this text from The Leo King, I was driving the brand new 2015 Chrysler 200C into work while I was giving a reader advice about how to communicate with their coworker. The term Sapiosexual didn’t ring a bell to me. I quickly looked it up into a Google Search and it revealed that a Sapiosexual is someone who is sexually attracted to Intelligence. What a simplistic definition to say the least. Check out every girl’s Tinder profile and I’m sure that “Idiot” is not a list of desirable traits in her “What I’m looking for” bio. The Leo King finally deserves a nickname on the blog. By far he is the most interesting with this desire for travel and exploration that matches my own. I like him and he is not just very smart but also very handsome, kind and thorough. Everyone knows I have gotten off Tinder and took down my online dating profiles. Let me reiterate that it’s not because of him, it’s for practical reasons. I got a wake up call from a friend of mine who told me to stop wasting people’s time and my own. While other guys like “Mr. Big” are content to sit in their man caves and occasionally text me a few times a year with “Hey Rookie,” The Leo King likes to phone me with amazing projects and text me little innuendos that make me smile. Few and far between but I enjoy each interaction. Each moment apart makes it that much more exciting to be out and about with each other. We are both storytellers and so there will be a moment when we talk about a fictitious romp to Houston (What’s so sexy about Houston?) or a role play date as we juggle football games, work projects, babysitting and the routine of single parenthood. So what does a sapiosexual do when somebody calls her out on the number one obvious desirable on her list? She plays dumb.
“Is that a real word?” I quickly text back knowing all too well that he’s pretty smart or he has fast fingers and can search Google very well. By which he texts back, “Google It!”
When the Leo King gets into the mood he will text me some playful banter here and there. At one point while I was venting about a roadtrip to Houston he decided that I was hinting I wanted him to drive me. I was thinking, “How rude of him?” Of course that led to a conversation that ended with
“I know exactly with whom I am dealing with: TROUBLE.” he stated
Trouble? Ha! Wonder Woman always comes to the rescue when it comes to trouble. I’m taking my time with the Leo King.
Dating is like lite beer, Commitment has head
I’ve been in a long line of relationships. I haven’t given up on marriage or long term relationships. I value the union with such high standards that I take my time in the process of mate selection because it’s a very big deal. I enjoy the process and each time I meet someone and they earn a spot in the Dallas Single Mom “blog post” ranks, I realize my choices keep getting better. I’ve gotten over the NEED for sexual satisfaction at the cost of my emotional sanity and I have no desire to fulfill my ego to determine whether my sexual confidence is still intact. All those pieces are fine. I spoke to a friend of mine today and she and I share something in common – we want it all. When I got my marriage annulled, it was an arduous process. The priest that recorded my statement had me talk about my parents, my upbringing and how others viewed my marriage. Talk about a big embarrassment. To be so vulnerable to God and the priest made me feel like a real dumb-a$$ for making such a hasty decision. So it’s not that I don’t value marriage or relationships, I probably NOW value it more than most so I don’t waste anybody’s time and more importantly I don’t waste my own time. Dating is the anti-thesis to building relationships. Relationships require an even balance of sharing and allowing the other person to have freedom. Dating is all about freedom. I sometimes think that two people dating each other just get so tired of dating that they give in and pass each other a note like in middle school and then BAM – they are a couple. Dating is like lite beer, it will give you a slight buzz. You can keep going through a couple of them without getting a hangover. Drink too much though and you can get a hangover. Commitment is like a craft brew with head. I took the cop I was seeing awhile back to Meddlesome Moth. I can’t even tell you how many craft beers they got. Now this guy likes his craft beer. Out of the hundreds on the list, he was able to pick out the one he wanted. Hmmmmm, that takes commitment. He wasn’t some newbie just trying out beers like some kind of beer slut – he knew which ones he liked. However, he had no intention of trying another brew.
We are not dating, we are marinating?
The Leo King and I have a very interesting relationship. Maybe it’s a cultural difference, syntax issue or a language barrier issue, but when he has the time to express himself he does. I can appreciate that. He has told me that he really likes me and I find that comforting. As I get to know him, I can express my feelings (when I mean my feelings, it’s my observations) without worrying that he’s going to throw a fit or act immature. That’s important to me. I don’t try to assume and asking for clarification just means that we seek to understand or: I perceive, therefore I am. We can call it dating but everyone knows I hate the word dating. I prefer to call it marinating. When you are marinating you are prepping raw meat or vegetables in a special sauce to eventually cook. On a metaphorical level, we are letting things “soak in” or leave time for reflection. I don’t own him nor does he own me but it’s nice if we can get together every once in awhile. He has already told me he will be busy until mid December with kid’s activities. I’m not a stranger to that phenomenon. I am also traveling this week and have a ton of things to do for the blog and other websites in support of Black Friday and the holidays. In time the Leo King and I can evaluate and re-evaluate this marinating process.
Love means not ever having to say you’re sorry
This quote is from the movie, Love Story from the 1970’s. I personally think this is an idealized statement about love. John Lennon said it best when he said, “Love is having to say you’re sorry every 5 minutes.” Sometimes friends will distance themselves from you and give you the silent treatment for no reason. I’m very upfront when it comes to certain things and when a friend is insulted by something I have said, I would like for them to confront me so I can “set the road straight.” This is part of my positive reality philosophy. A few weeks ago I thought I had insulted the Leo King and so I offered an apology. Not trying to assume what was going on in his world, it really bothered me that I hadn’t heard from him. I don’t know him very well so I don’t know his personality. I offered up an apology because I cared enough to want to continue interacting with him. If I didn’t care I probably would have let it go and just moved on. He immediately called me to explain the situation and apologized to me. I was surprised and happy about that. In my own advice I have often said that one of my goals was to become a person that is easy to apologize to. I do that by quickly accepting apologies and acknowledging them. Yet I was surprised he even apologized and acknowledged his actions. So far he has been very good at keeping his word so nothing to worry about. My cynicism about dating in general subsided a little. Another thing I’m working on. With him I was able to accept his apology and see my own choices in action. The start of all of my friendships is truly about emotional respect and while we are “marinating” we are also building a friendship and a camaraderie of sorts along with finding out whether or not we could develop a relationship.
Lessons Learned – The soul grows because of the impacts placed on it
I read an article on an astrology site the other day that mentioned how marriage and commitment is no longer a requirement for surviving in this world. In the old days, marriage and harmony at all costs was imperative to surviving. The husband might become a beggar, the woman a prostitute and the kids begging on the streets. In today’s age, being single is a viable option as we have our careers, our friends and our families. We can travel alone, enjoy our hobbies alone, and pursue our dreams without having to ask permission of our significant others if we are single. We can easily get another apartment if we do divorce or break our commitment. Now I’m not advocating that we reject any kind of commitment or coupling but I acknowledge the “human” need for intimacy and why we fall over ourselves wanting to find love. It’s the simple fact that, the IT factor or the idea that the soul yearns to grow through the human experience. That something is what another person brings to a relationship. You will not find this IT factor on your own. That IT factor is not just a sexual passion. The sexual passion is the visible proof that is part of the manifestation that is within. Instead it is what the article called, a spiritual passion.
And spiritual passion is sustained by shared spiritual growth, which in turn is more a function of the ways we press each other to grow (hard aspects) than it is a function of the ways we quietly collude in denial, sleepiness, and endless television (easy aspects). read more!
You don’t get a diamond without a piece of coal going through enormous amounts of pressure. You don’t get new land without lava exploding out of a volcano. Our spirits and our soul grows the same way. If we constantly seek perfection we will never find it. If we seek to understand ourselves within the context of the hearts we leave with our intimate captors the more we learn about ourselves.
Here is what I want all of my readers to understand this holiday season: Pick your battles. I have always found the holidays to be the most stressful time of the year and have personally witnessed couples fight and break up during this time. Please don’t let that happen to you. Practice patience, be kind, and don’t set expectations. For my birthday in a couple of weeks, I would like everyone to do one small thing for someone else. I’ll be participating in Giving Tuesday. Giving Tuesday is brought to you by the United Nations Foundation and happens to be on MY birthday. I’m a social media ambassador for that effort and will be supporting the efforts of Stickman Stew and the Gold Heart Crew as we try to get Stickman Stew toys donated to the kids at local Dallas Charity – Vogel Alcove. Please follow me on Twitter at @DallasSingleMom and follow the hashtag #GivingTuesday and #SpiritOfChristmas
In this latest reader advice column, Sun Sign Capricorn has a question about confessions. If you don’t know what the term means, the term “dip” refers to chewing tobacco.
Dear Dallas Single Mom,
I’ve been dating this guy for a year. A can of chewing tobacco happened to be in his backpack. When I asked him if he “dipped” he said it was an old can and that he doesn’t do it anymore. On various occasions I have asked if he “dipped” and he keeps telling me no. I don’t believe him and I’m not sure why he just doesn’t admit that he does. We keep arguing about this and we broke up over it. Why can’t he just admit he dips?
Sincerely, Sun Sign Capricorn
Dear Sun Sign Capricorn,
You remind me of a police detective. You have all the evidence in the world but what you really want is a confession. The other part of that is you really want to put a feather in your cap and prove to him that YOU ARE RIGHT. Try to examine your reasons for wanting these things and see if they are really worth losing a relationship over. If chewing tobacco is a deal breaker for you than break up. Your delivery of the message might need a little bit of work. Instead of taking an accusatory tone with him, help him feel comfortable to be honest with you and share his habits with you. Acknowledge his habit and then explain how it makes you feel (if it’s a dealbreaker for you). If it’s not a dealbreaker, just acknowledge that you don’t like it around you. If he denies the habit, I would generally try to evaluate why he feels the need to lie to you and if you are willing to put with dishonestly on such a level. I personally feel this is a pretty straightforward situation. Put up with it or don’t. I’d put up with dipping but the bigger issue here is his need to lie about it. Then ask yourself if you are willing to put up with that.