I have a strong mother. Not just strong in the way of physical strength but strong in manner, work ethic, family, love and service. It was the hallmark of my childhood to grow up in a household of very strong women. From my grandmother, to my mother, my aunts and now to my daughters and I. My grandmother died this past summer and my mother is getting older and now it is my turn to teach my daughters what it means to live in the “Age of the Feminine.” It’s something more than just feminism or women’s rights it is about viewing the human condition with the coming of age of truly defining what it means to be feminine. Our friends at Dove™ have partnered with Dallas Single Mom and my daughters in their latest #LoveYourHair campaign where I can give my fellow single moms some of my experiences in helping my daughters learn to be confident in themselves and confident in their natural hair and their self image. We are creating a conversation with mothers on how & why they should share hair positivity with their daughters. Dove Hair will be hosting a website where people can personalize their mother/daughter photo with creative text and images for sharing on their social networks.We all have a story and I encourage you to share how you guide your young daughters to embrace their natural hair. Here’s a little bit about my contribution to the Age of the Feminine. . . .
Our Hair is a direct link to our ancestors and our family
The hair on the top of your head is a mixture of the genes and DNA from your parents. It is one of the most obvious traits that let people know where you come from. Your hair is a tribute to your heritage. I was fortunate to have been born and raised in Hawaii with an ethnically diverse background. My mother has naturally red hair and my dad has naturally dark hair. I also danced hula – and your hair is such an important part of hula. Whether you wore your hair very long and big or whether you wore it tied up with flowers, it completed the full picture of what the song and the dance was about.
My hair has natural waves to it. When you dance the hair moves with you and your hands and skirt. It’s one of the many things that make hair such an essential part of my Hawaiian culture. No matter what your ethnic background is or your culture, hair is a very important part of that. To love your hair is to love your family and where you came from.
Hair Confidence in the Age of the Feminine
In what seems like a time period of hyper masculinity there are still glimpses of what I like to call the Age of the Feminine. If you are a follower of astrology as I am, you may have heard about this. With such hyper-masculinity in the news and what seems like very fearful and aggressive times it is this hyper-masculinity trying to fight the forces of the Age of the Feminine. It is inevitable the Age of the Feminine and dominance of women is here as we saw two women in the running for President of the United States – Hillary Clinton and Jill Stein, one of which had the highest popular vote totals in the country. This would not even be conceivable a decade ago. We are seeing more women and minorities serving in Political leadership in this country, serving in executive positions and obtaining college degrees. Women are outnumbering men in college degrees . This is the time that we must teach our daughters about what it takes to grow up in the age of the feminine and to not only honor your appearance (like your hair) but to also work hard in school, try hard in sports or activities, be a good friend and neighbor and grow up to be responsible.
What do you want to be when you Grow up?
I asked Baylee about what she wanted to be when she grew up. She has changed her career choice twice for a 6 year old. When she was 4 she wanted to be a hair stylist and then when she turned 6 she wanted to be president. These are such exciting times for my daughters to grow up only knowing a black president. Now that we have a new president and they have truly been aware of what an election for president looks like the work ahead for my daughters is to stay focused on studies and growing up. Before we get into some of the hair tips I have for our daily routine I want to offer up some tips for growing up girls in the age of the feminine.
- Do more Than Talk; Do! I put up a poster on their wall that says Act Better! Be Better! Do Better! Where ever you are, what ever you are doing always ask yourself how can I do this BETTER! Don’t hold back. Set the example not just state the rules. It’s a mantra of sorts that allows my daughters to think about how what they do affects the world.
- Don’t accept limitations. Support your daughter’s determination when it is something they are passionate about.
- Teach your children the value of hard work. Sometimes the work is not hard but monotonous and sometimes tedious. Teach them the value of starting something even if it’s not their most favorite thing to do.
- Praise them more often than you reward them. Heap on the deserving praises. I am an advocate for praising my children with words moreso than rewards like money, screen time and more. It has made a world of difference. I have also taught them to praise each other.
- Maintain stability. There is nothing that allows kids to realize their potential when there is stability in the home. This goes for single moms as well. Keep to those routines and your kids will also keep to them.
- Teach respect for where they come from and the women that came before them. This teaches kids to look out for the person that is different from them. We have all come from different place and no two individuals are the same. Be respectful and confident about who you are and where you come from and you never have to worry about what others may say or think about you.
Baylee with the Good Hair
My youngest Daughter is Baylee and my oldest daughter is Cameron. They spend a lot of time playing together and with their little brother. They will do each other’s hair.
While most of the time they like to keep it long and put a headband on their hair. I like to braid and tie it up. I sometimes French Braid my hair just so that it stays out of my face. Even though Baylee has a short bob cut I can still braid her hair over the crown of her head. This is called a Crown Braid.
Why does Dove™ Hair care so much about our hair? Well they are committed to creating a broad spectrum and definition around what is beautiful hair and ensuring that hair is a source of confidence, not anxiety for both women and girls. Mothers like you and me are going to empower our daughters in this Age of the Feminine to be leaders for our daughters in their hair confidence by teaching them how to love their hair.
How it seems society and the media views “beautiful hair” is narrow and earlier this year, Dove™ Hair found that 8 in 10 women feel pressure to wear their hair a certain way. For many, these pressures begin at an early age. As mothers, aunts, grandmothers, cousins, godmothers and more we can impact a girl’s confidence as a positive role model. In fact, a recent Dove™ study found that 82% of girls learn to care about themselves from their mother.
How do I best “wear my hair?”
I am a single, working mom. Most of the time I wear my hair tied up or in a braid at home. Other times I leave it down. When I do my hair it always helps me feel my best and confident. I know I have taken the time and I can make it through my very busy schedule and work day.
With natural waves it holds a curl very easily. In high school I chopped my hair off very short. I used to play sports so I always had it up. I learned to love the color and the thickness of it and especially how easy it was to curl it. I hope my daughters learn to love their hair. My oldest daughter has very long black hair. We love to braid it and she takes care of it. My youngest daughter has a short bob cut which frames her face. I love that they enjoy watching me do my hair and that they see me as their role model. The hope is that they grow up to be confident young women in this Age of the Feminine. As a mother, you can make a difference and help ensure your daughter grows up feeling confident. Celebrate the beauty of your daughter’s hair today–so she loves her hair tomorrow with Dove™.
Tell her why you love her hair and inspire her to do the same by creating and sharing a custom #LoveYourHair animated message with @Dove: http://bit.ly/2gErLzn
This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Dove™.