Guest Post by Sabrina Jackson
First dates are scary enough in themselves. And if you happen to have a first date lined up that also happens to be the first one since your divorce, you might be so nervous that you are fighting the urge to call the guy and cancel with some sort of excuse revolving around a “very contagious, very disgusting illness you seemed to have picked up from a dish at a very questionable Vietnamese restaurant.” But before place that call, stop, breathe and remember that once you get past those initial nerves (whoever called them butterflies is a nut job), dating can actually be really fun and exciting! So that your date is a successful one, be sure to check out the following first date post-divorce mistakes. And don’t commit them!
Mistake #1: Dating too soon after your divorce. There is nothing wrong with getting your mind off of your sucky ex-husband; sometimes the best way to heal an old wound is to cover it up with a new Band-Aid. But if you jump back into the dating pool so soon after your divorce that you haven’t even had time to change your relationship status on Facebook from “married” to “single,” then you might be moving a little too fast. Baggage is never of the Louis Vuitton brand when it comes to relationships…it’s the brand that no one wants. So give yourself some time to get over the past so that you don’t drag your old, beat-up suitcases filled with pain and heartache from your marriage into your new relationship(s). Instead, just focus on yourself for a little while so that you can be ready and in the best place possible when the time is right to date again!
Mistake #2: Putting too much pressure on the date. When you approach a date as a serious event and picture what the guy would look like in a tux, at the end of the aisle, and toasting champagne to his fabulous new wife (you) at a dream wedding that would knock your first one out of the water, then you are gonna set yourself up for more heartache when you freak him out so bad that he flees before you can even toast to your first date. You never know where a date may lead, but rather than putting so much pressure on it, look at dating instead as a fun opportunity to meet new guys, take things slow and see what all is out there!
Mistake #3: Talking about your ex. A first date is supposed to be about getting to know each other—but that doesn’t mean divulging every little horrifying detail that led to your hot mess of a divorce and crying into your lobster dinner about your failed marriage. Surely you have better things to talk about! So keep the conversation light-hearted and focus on the positive, happy parts of life that you enjoy. A positive attitude is the most attractive thing about a person—let yours shine and your date is sure to forget that lobster and will be eating out of the palm of your pretty little hand!
Sabrina Jackson is a guest post author and single momma who enjoys sharing her advice with women going through divorce. In addition, Sabrina is also a contributor for best senior dating sites where she offers tips for safe methods of online dating.