What’s my motivation? The things that you find out about yourself when you’re not looking

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A few weeks back I walked for Team Jenny at the Dallas Heart Walk. It was such a great adventure and I got to meet so many wonderful women while I was there. The best part about being a blogger sometimes is not just meeting so many new people but getting to know different companies and brands. Jenny Craig is one of them. My sister was on Jenny Craig and she lost a lot of weight. As part of my blogging showmanship, I received (sponsored) one month of free consultation and free food from Jenny Craig. It took me a while to get started but I chose a location by my work so that I could get my food and consult with the Jenny Craig coach prior to starting. I can honestly say, I didn’t realize what I’d be in for.

My motivation is all about myself

Allison, the coach at the Las Colinas Jenny Craig asked me about what brought me into Jenny Craig. I pretty much gave the standard speech about wanting to lose weight but what I discovered in myself while I was talking was that there was more to it than that. Over the years with my life in shambles after bad relationships and money issues, I gave up on a lot of things. One of them was dating – with three kids now, there was no possible way I would even consider going out or even paying a babysitter for a first date. The other part of my life I gave up was on working out and keeping my weight down. I figure why put myself through the stress of trying to look good if I’m not going to date. To be honest with you, I enjoyed my time laying on the couch and eating whatever I wanted. Hanging out with the kids is my favorite activity and I don’t need to look like a million bucks, they love me for just the way I am. So really what was it? My friends and family would try to come up with motivations for me. Think about your kids, living longer to see your kids grow up, blah, blah, blah. I mean I get a checkup every year and I have no health issues. So why start now?

So I finally weighed myself

So I weighed myself. After my second child I was in the 145 to 150 and now I’m at 167. How evil does that sound? It sounds evil to me. I could never picture myself at 150, let alone 167. So now this is where we start and where I want to end up is at 135. So we get back to the question, “Why are you here?” Allison, one of the Jenny Craig coaches has a lot of energy and is fun and very easy to talk to. This might explain why she is a coach. She’s also very knowledgeable and explains the Jenny Craig program very well. I walked in with no makeup and Allison quickly said, “Wow, you still look good even though you are not wearing a stitch of makeup.” Yes I like her already, who wouldn’t. Anyway, this begged the question, “What is my motivation”

The Simple Truth

This simple truth is not that hard to explain. So I’m going to give you my version and my friend’s version.

This is my version: “I have just gotten myself caught up financially and career wise. The kids are on a schedule, seem well adjusted, and are doing well in school. I feel like I’m becoming the complete package I want to be and now I can work on my appearance, such as my weight to fully complete the package, because bottom line I want to date and I want to know I put my best self forward to date. I look at myself and think if I were a guy I would not date me. This is not me being hard on myself, it’s me realizing what my potential is and going for it.”

And then this is my friend’s version: “You want to lose weight, so that you can have sex with the lights on and not have to worry about covering up your body.”

That’s definitely the short of it and the simple truth. Losing weight is like the visible part of myself that symbolizes to people and society about the unbreakable human spirit. I’m a single mom and I’m not on welfare. I’ve been falsely accused by my ex of horrible things none of which are true. I’ve also been wasting my money and time in court dealing with those accusations. Let me say even four years after this divorce was finalized, it’s still messy. I worked hard to get to where I am and I’ve made mistakes of allowing relationships with bad men destroy what I built. So now I’m at a point where I got things together and I deserve better than what I had. I now have to live up to those standards and be all the best I can be. Wish me luck. You can learn more about Jenny Craig by visiting jennycraig.com.

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Heather Buen

Heather has lived in Dallas-Fort Worth for over 10 years. The quintessential multi-tasker, she splits her time with her children and navigating the city. As a single mom she has a large network of friends, family & supporters – believing in the saying “It takes a village to raise a child.” You can find her on Twitter at @dallassinglemom