One of the more daunting challenges parents face is raising a child with genuine, lasting confidence, especially when peer teasing begins to chip away at how a child sees themselves. Child psychology expert Emily Edlynn shared four practical strategies with Parents to help children develop healthy self-esteem and a strong inner sense of worth. The advice is timely and grounding, because the reality is that most kids will eventually encounter some form of unkind commentary from peers, and how they are equipped to handle it matters enormously. Parents play a central role in laying that emotional groundwork long before the teasing ever starts.
There is something uniquely disorienting about watching your child experience social rejection for the first time. It brings back that same instinct from infancy, when protecting them felt so straightforward, like covering electrical outlets or buckling a car seat. As children grow, the dangers become less visible and far harder to fix with a simple purchase. Recognizing that emotional safety deserves the same parental attention as physical safety is itself a significant shift in perspective, and one that Edlynn encourages parents to make intentionally.
It is worth noting that children around age five are famously, almost reliably, blunt. They have not yet internalized social norms, which means they will stare, point, and voice observations without any filter, not out of cruelty, but because they are simply narrating their experience of the world. What can feel hurtful to a parent or child on the receiving end may not carry the same weight it appears to. Edlynn emphasizes that regardless of another child’s intent, the priority is making sure your child does not begin to feel shame about something they were perfectly comfortable with before the teasing began. She frames this as an opportunity rather than a crisis, a chance to actively build confidence and find a healthy balance between embracing individuality and feeling at ease with peers.
The first strategy Edlynn recommends is being specific with praise at home. Rather than a generic “good job” every few minutes, which she notes quickly loses all meaning, parents should call out particular traits and behaviors. Something like “I love how you used your imagination to invent that game, you are genuinely creative” carries far more weight because it is targeted and sincere. Praise that is selective and concrete is the kind that actually sticks and shapes how a child understands their own abilities.
The second tip involves actively celebrating what makes your child different. At this developmental stage, children are becoming increasingly aware of how they compare to others, noticing similarities and differences in a new way. Edlynn suggests weaving conversations about uniqueness into everyday moments, asking your child what sets them apart from their friends and what they think and feel about those differences. Letting them know that you genuinely love their quirks and particular way of being is not just sweet parenting, it is strategic. Consistent positive messaging from a parent is one of the most reliable building blocks of long-term self-worth.
Third, if you suspect your child is being teased for something that makes them unique, it is time to broaden your focus beyond the home and actually observe what is happening in their wider social world. This means watching how they interact with other children when possible, speaking with teachers or caregivers about what they notice in the classroom or on the playground, and keeping open, ongoing conversations with your child about their experiences. Your child may be reading the reactions of others as more negative than they actually are, or they may be genuinely struggling. Sometimes a child will naturally want to adjust a habit or two to feel more comfortable in a group, and sometimes a parent may also gently identify small adaptations that could help social dynamics improve without compromising who the child fundamentally is.
The fourth and final tip is about giving children real tools to navigate the social world. Growing up means gradually learning how to adapt to shifting social expectations, even while holding onto a core sense of self. Part of parenting, as Edlynn explains, is guiding children through their social development rather than shielding them entirely from it. Building confidence and self-esteem at home establishes a foundation of emotional security, and that foundation is what gives children the resources to manage situations that arise far outside a parent’s control. The most enduring message a parent can send, through words and through consistency, is that their child is loved and special exactly as they are, regardless of what any peer might say.
Research from the American Psychological Association suggests that children who have at least one consistently supportive adult figure in their lives show measurably stronger resilience in the face of social stress, which makes the kind of intentional parenting Edlynn describes genuinely protective in a clinical sense. Children who are taught to identify their own strengths early are also significantly less likely to rely on peer validation as their primary source of self-worth as they get older, which becomes especially important heading into adolescence. And somewhat fascinatingly, studies on elementary-age social dynamics have found that children who are praised for effort rather than outcome tend to seek out harder challenges, essentially developing a taste for difficulty that serves them well for the rest of their lives.
What approaches have worked best for you when it comes to building your child’s confidence, and how do you handle the teasing conversations? Share your thoughts in the comments.
