A new line of research is pushing back on the lazy stereotype that people who stay single for years must be broken, picky, or afraid of commitment. Instead, it suggests that staying solo can be tied to a mix of education, living situation, and psychological well being, not some moral failing. The findings come from a large study led by researchers connected to the University of Zurich in Switzerland and published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. At a moment when fewer young adults are pairing up, the study offers a surprisingly human explanation for why some people take longer to enter their first serious relationship.
One of the most attention grabbing takeaways is that more intelligent people may be more likely to remain without a partner for longer stretches. The researchers did not claim intelligence causes long term singlehood, but they did flag it as a pattern that showed up in the data. That stands out because it runs against an older narrative, including a 2018 study that suggested more intelligent people were more likely to marry and stay married. The new work does not erase those earlier ideas, but it complicates them and reminds us that relationship paths are not one size fits all.
The team tried to identify which factors are associated with extended periods without a relationship in early adulthood. They followed more than 17,000 people in the United Kingdom and Germany, starting when participants were 16 and had no prior romantic relationship experience. Over time, participants were periodically asked about traits and demographic details until age 29. That long follow up matters because it captures the years when many people are forming their first adult partnerships.
Several patterns clustered around people who stayed single longer, especially among young men. Lower reported well being was part of the picture, as was higher education, and so was living arrangement. The study suggested that living alone or living with parents was more common among those who went longer without entering a first romantic relationship. Meanwhile, living with friends or roommates appeared to be associated with a higher likelihood of finding a partner, which makes intuitive sense if daily social exposure creates more chances to meet someone.
Michael Krämer, a coauthor, emphasized that both life circumstances and inner experience can shape whether someone partners up. He put it this way, “Our results show that education and psychological traits like current well being can help explain who enters a romantic relationship and who does not.” That framing is important because it avoids treating singlehood as purely a personal choice or purely bad luck. It points to the idea that dating outcomes can be influenced by structural realities like how people live, study, work, and socialize.
The study arrives as relationship patterns shift across the broader culture. The Economist has reported that over the last 50 years the share of Americans ages 25 to 34 who are not living with a spouse or partner has doubled. According to that reporting, the figure has reached about 50 percent for men and 41 percent for women. Those numbers do not automatically signal a crisis, but they do provide context for why researchers are paying closer attention to what happens to people who remain unpartnered through their twenties.
The researchers also looked at whether long stretches without a partner were linked to changes in mental and emotional health. They tracked life satisfaction, loneliness, and depressive symptoms in people who stayed single compared with those who entered a first relationship. The overall pattern was not flattering to the myth that singlehood never affects people, at least not during this particular stage of life. Those who remained single longer were more likely to report declining life satisfaction and rising loneliness over time.
There was a specific timing element that stood out. The researchers wrote, “Well being deficits became more pronounced in the late twenties.” In other words, differences did not necessarily explode early on, but they became clearer as participants approached the end of their twenties. The study also noted that this pattern appeared in both men and women, and it lined up with higher levels of reported depressive symptoms among those who stayed unpartnered the longest.
At the same time, the study found something many people recognize from lived experience. Entering a first relationship was associated with a visible lift in well being. That does not mean relationships are a magic cure, and it does not mean anyone should rush into one, but it does suggest that partnership can bring emotional benefits for many people in early adulthood. Krämer summarized the risk side in a careful way, saying, “Long term singlehood in young adulthood is linked to moderate risks for well being.”
Another sobering point is that the study suggests it may get harder to enter a first relationship as people near their thirties. The research does not claim there is a deadline for love, but it hints that the social ecosystem changes as peers settle into routines, careers, and longer term partnerships. If you are single deep into your twenties, you may need to be more intentional about building social opportunities, especially if you live alone or have fewer built in ways to meet new people. That is not a judgment, it is a practical implication of how modern adult life is structured.
Zooming out, it helps to remember that psychologists often use “well being” as an umbrella term that can include life satisfaction, emotional balance, and a sense of meaning or connection. Loneliness is not the same as being alone, because it is more about perceived social isolation than the number of people around you. Living with roommates or friends can increase casual daily interaction, while living alone can reduce it even if you have an active social life. And in research like this, correlations highlight patterns across groups, but they do not define any one person’s story.
If you have been single for a long time or you have watched friends move at wildly different speeds, this study is a reminder that timing is shaped by more than attractiveness, effort, or luck. Education choices, mental health, living arrangements, and shifting social norms can all tug the timeline in different directions. Some people thrive while single, some struggle, and many bounce between both depending on the year. Share your thoughts on what you think really keeps people single for so long in the comments.
