For some people, sex does not end with relaxation but with a sudden, intense headache that can feel alarming. These episodes can happen to men and women, and they often show up right as arousal peaks or immediately afterward. While the experience is unsettling, experts note that many cases are not dangerous. Still, because the pain can be dramatic, it helps to understand what might be happening and when it is time to get checked out.
Relationship and sex expert Catherine Drysdale recently talked about the issue on TikTok after experiencing it herself. She told viewers, “If you’ve ever felt a headache coming on as you get close to climax or you got a fierce headache right after, this is for you.” Her point was simple that people should not feel embarrassed, and they should know they are not alone. She also emphasized that the timing around orgasm is a common pattern that doctors recognize.
Drysdale referenced a definition from Mayo Clinic, describing it as a headache “brought on by sexual activity, especially orgasm.” In plain terms, it is pain that appears during sexual activity rather than a random headache that happens to occur the same day. Mayo Clinic also explains there can be more than one feel to it, depending on how it begins and how quickly it ramps up. That distinction matters because different patterns can point to different triggers.
One pattern builds gradually with arousal and feels like pressure in the head and neck. Mayo Clinic describes it like this, “You may notice a dull ache in your head and neck that intensifies as sexual excitement increases.” Another pattern is more abrupt, and it can feel like a headache that explodes in seconds. Mayo Clinic adds, “Or, more commonly, you may experience a sudden, severe headache just before or during orgasm.” Both can be scary, even when they turn out to be benign.
@iamcatherinedrysdale Replying to @Hillary🥰 why you might be getting headaches when you climax + what to do about it 🤓 #greenscreen #mayoclinic #adhd #intimacy #gradschool #research #learnontiktok #tiktokpartner #adhdinwomen #headache #fyp ♬ Chopin Nocturne No. 2 Piano Mono – moshimo sound design
The National Health Service in the UK does not sugarcoat how disruptive this can be. It calls sex headaches a “real and unpleasant problem,” and notes they are not just a punchline about avoiding intimacy. NHS also explains why the pain often centers around the head, neck, and shoulders. It states, “Doctors believe sex headaches are caused by a build up of pressure in the muscles of the head and neck,” and adds that they can show up during foreplay or right before orgasm and last from minutes to about an hour. That kind of window makes them hard to predict, which is part of what makes them stressful.
Pharmacy manager Jason Murphy says the body’s physical response to sex can set the stage for a headache. He describes the cause as “a sudden change in blood pressure and muscle tension during sexual activity.” As arousal rises, he explains that blood vessels can widen quickly, and that shift may trigger pain in some people. Murphy says, “As excitement increases, blood vessels in the brain can suddenly expand, which can trigger a headache.” He also notes that even when they are usually harmless, they can be intense and surprising.
Murphy points out that everyday factors can stack the odds against you. He says, “In some cases, they can also be linked to dehydration, fatigue, stress, or lack of sleep, all of which make the body more sensitive to pain signals.” If your neck and shoulders are already tight, the strain of certain positions can add to the problem. Murphy also warns that tension in the upper body can be a bigger issue for people who already deal with headaches or migraines. In other words, the headache is not always only about sex, but about what state your body is in when sex happens.
Drysdale shared another detail that may resonate with people who take medication. She said she noticed more frequent headaches while using ADHD medication, and she started adjusting her routine. In her case, having sex in the morning before taking medication and before breakfast seemed to help because she believed her medication restricted blood flow and worsened symptoms. This does not mean medications are the cause for everyone, but it shows how personal patterns can matter. If you notice a consistent link with a medication schedule, it is worth bringing up with a clinician.
Even though many sex headaches are not dangerous, there are times you should seek medical advice. Both Drysdale and Murphy stress getting checked if the headaches are severe, long lasting, or changing over time. NHS also suggests one possible prevention strategy, which is taking a pain reliever a few hours before sexual activity to try to stop a headache from starting. That said, self treating should not replace evaluation if the pain is extreme or accompanied by other symptoms. A healthcare professional can help rule out other causes and advise what is safe for you.
For general context, headaches are usually grouped by type and trigger, and sex headaches fall into a niche category sometimes described as headaches associated with sexual activity. Tension type headaches are often linked to muscle tightness and stress, and they can feel like pressure around the head. Migraines often involve throbbing pain and sensitivity to light or sound, and some people are simply more headache prone than others. A sudden severe headache that is new for you should be treated seriously, especially if it feels like the worst headache of your life or comes with neurological symptoms such as weakness, confusion, fainting, or vision changes. When in doubt, it is better to be cautious and get evaluated.
If you have experienced headaches during or after sex, consider tracking a few basics so you can spot patterns. Note hydration, sleep, stress levels, and whether your neck and shoulders feel tense before intimacy. Some people find that slowing down, easing intensity, changing positions to reduce strain, and focusing on relaxed breathing helps. Others find that building up more gradually reduces the rapid spike that can set pain off. Whatever the pattern, you are not weird, and you deserve clear answers, so share your experience and questions with a healthcare professional and tell us what you think in the comments.
