Finding the right partner can feel like a mystery in today’s dating world where warnings about red flags dominate conversations. Yet relationship expert Dr. Julie Gottman encourages us to focus on positive signals that truly matter. With decades of research alongside her husband John Gottman, she has helped countless couples build lasting connections. In a recent appearance on the Diary of a CEO podcast hosted by Steven Bartlett, she outlined three essential behaviors that indicate someone might be a great match.
The first sign centers on how well the person engages with you during conversations. A promising partner shows real curiosity about your life, thoughts, and experiences rather than dominating the talk. They ask meaningful questions and listen attentively to your responses. This kind of interest builds a foundation of mutual respect and emotional closeness from the start.
Another key indicator involves observing how they interact with people around them. Pay attention to their behavior toward service workers like waitstaff or baristas. Someone who treats everyone with kindness and courtesy, no matter their role, reveals a compassionate character. This trait often predicts how they will handle respect and empathy in a relationship over time.
Reliability stands out as the third crucial element Dr. Gottman emphasizes. A dependable person follows through on their commitments, even for small plans. While occasional changes happen to everyone, consistent effort to keep promises shows maturity. It creates trust that forms the backbone of any strong partnership.
These behaviors matter because they reflect deeper values that sustain relationships long-term. Dr. Gottman explains that true compatibility isn’t about finding a flawless person. Every couple faces differences that can’t always be resolved completely. Learning to accept and navigate those quirks turns potential conflicts into opportunities for growth.
She points out that viewing each other as imperfect humans adds beauty to the bond. Flaws don’t have to block love when handled with understanding. Instead of chasing an ideal, focus on partners who actively contribute to a supportive dynamic. This mindset shift can lead to more fulfilling connections.
Dr. Julie Gottman and John Gottman have spent years studying what makes relationships thrive through their institute’s work. Their insights remind us that healthy partnerships require ongoing effort from both sides. Recognizing these positive signs early helps avoid settling for less than you deserve. It guides you toward someone who enhances your life meaningfully.
Ultimately, no one enters a relationship as the perfect match ready-made. The right person emerges through shared experiences and mutual investment. By prioritizing interest, kindness, and reliability, you set the stage for something genuine. These qualities often prove more valuable than surface-level attraction.
Dr. Gottman’s advice encourages a balanced view of dating that celebrates green flags alongside caution. It empowers people to seek partners who make them feel valued and secure. Applying these principles can transform how you approach new relationships. They offer a practical roadmap in an often confusing landscape.
What signs have helped you recognize a great partner in your own experiences? Share your thoughts in the comments.
