Modern singles searching for love feel like they need to cram everything into their packed schedules. First came the trend of date stacking where people would squeeze multiple dates into every available time slot. Now there’s choreomance, which is essentially romance through everyday responsibilities. It’s no wonder that dating has lost some of its spontaneity and mystique in today’s world. Everyone tracks each other on social media, not everyone can afford fancy dinners, and frankly, we’re all a bit exhausted.
Dating today feels less glamorous than it used to be, and maybe that’s actually okay. Perhaps choreomance is just a smart way to squeeze romance back into our daily lives, or perhaps it’s not. The term describes something fairly common, with around 42 percent of singles practicing choreomance without even realizing it. You might even be doing it yourself, whether you’re single or already in a relationship, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing.
Michael Kaye from Plenty of Fish explains that “the point is to turn everyday tasks into scheduled date time.” Instead of specifically reserving an evening for romance, couples incorporate dates into real life. According to their research, 42 percent of singles are already doing this, and more than two thirds say it’s a good way to check compatibility. Without too much pressure and ideal for overstuffed schedules, this is dating for people who are constantly rushing somewhere.
Plenty of Fish also details what this looks like in practice, with 58 percent of singles connecting through dog walks, 25 percent scheduling joint workouts, and 21 percent turning even weekly grocery shopping into dates. The dating platform coined the term to describe this emerging pattern. Kaye argues that couples see what life together really looks like through these situations, not just the highlight reel moments.
Daphne T., a 32 year old who requested only her first name be used, says these casual dates make up a large part of her time with her partner. “We often walk the dog together, especially when we’re swamped with responsibilities, and that’s when we have our best conversations,” she says. She and her partner also started working out together because she trains every day, so it became a way to spend more time together. On weekends they tackle garden work or household do it yourself projects, and all those mundane tasks become more bearable and even more fun.
However, at one point Daphne felt they might be taking each other for granted, so they instituted a rule where once a month each person organizes a surprise date. “That forces us to get out of task mode and just have fun,” she adds. They don’t necessarily go out to dinner but instead do things like ice skating, cooking classes, or go karting.
The question remains whether choreomance strengthens relationships or weakens them. Since Plenty of Fish created the name, they claim it mostly strengthens bonds. “When you tackle routine together, you see how someone communicates, compromises, and functions every day, which can build trust and intimacy faster than a dinner date,” Kaye states. The key is balance, as choreomance works best when it supplements rather than replaces quality time together.
Dating consultant and host of The Sabrina Zohar Show, Sabrina Zohar, offers a second opinion on the trend. “I have nothing against it,” she says, noting that if you’re romanticizing everyday life with your partner, it can be a smart way to stay connected and avoid falling into a rut. But she has a warning: “If chores are your only shared time, if you’re only together while doing household tasks, that’s a sign something’s off.” It might mean you’re not trying hard enough or avoiding deeper connection by staying constantly busy together instead of truly being together.
Zohar provides a simple rule for distinguishing the trend from routine. “It’s all about intention and energy,” she explains. Choreomance is when you think let’s make this task more fun because we’re together, while routine is when this is all we do. One is a bonus, the other is the path of least resistance. She asks couples to consider whether they’re doing activities because they want to be together or because they no longer prioritize real dates and this is easiest.
Every relationship has a little choreomance in it, and it can bring joy to everyday life. But if the relationship boils down to just tasks and never doing things you genuinely want to do together, that’s a sign something needs to change. As Zohar suggests, maybe throw in some go karting to mix things up.
Dating trends have evolved significantly over the past decade, shaped by technology and changing social norms. Online dating platforms have become the primary way people meet potential partners, with apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge revolutionizing how singles connect. Terms like ghosting, breadcrumbing, and situationships have entered the mainstream vocabulary to describe modern dating behaviors. The rise of video dates during recent years normalized virtual connections, while concepts like slow dating emerged as a counter movement to swipe culture. Relationship experts increasingly emphasize the importance of authenticity and clear communication in building lasting connections. Traditional dating milestones have shifted as well, with many couples choosing to live together before marriage or delay marriage altogether. The integration of romance into practical activities represents yet another adaptation to contemporary lifestyles where time has become the most precious commodity.
What are your thoughts on turning everyday errands into romantic moments, and have you tried incorporating choreomance into your own relationship in the comments?
