Most singles have a mental list of little things that can sour a first date, even if they never say a word about it in the moment. A Zoosk survey found that 73 percent of women and 66 percent of men said they have between two and five behaviors that irritate them on a first date. For 18 percent of women, that list was even longer, while nearly a quarter of men claimed almost nothing bothers them. Still, those small annoyances matter because 70 percent of women and about half of men said they have turned down a second date because of them.
One of the quickest ways to lose someone’s interest is neglecting basic hygiene and self care. In the Zoosk results, 45 percent of women said an unpleasant smell was their biggest turnoff, which is a brutal statistic for something that is often easy to prevent. It is not about being perfectly styled or expensive, it is about showing up clean and considerate. When someone seems unaware of how they present themselves, it can read as indifference toward the person sitting across the table.
Another behavior that repeatedly shows up on the no thank you list is being glued to a phone. Women mentioned this too, with 22 percent pointing to dates who cannot put their device down, and a separate Match survey reported that 73 percent of women dislike when a man spends the entire date on his phone. Men are just as fed up, if not more so, with 51 percent saying their top complaint is a woman who keeps texting, typing, or posting on social media during the date. Even if the intention is harmless, constant screen checking signals that the date is competing with everything else for your attention.
Punctuality and conversational balance also play a role, even if people tend to swallow their frustration instead of addressing it. In the Zoosk survey, 13 percent of women said they dislike when a date shows up late, and 10 percent of men agreed. Some also dislike an interaction that feels like a job interview, with too many rapid fire questions, or a conversation dominated by one person talking about themselves. Men also noted smaller style related distractions, including 7 percent who said too much makeup bothered them.
Then there is the way someone speaks once the small distractions are removed. Over half of women, 53 percent, said sexual innuendo or inappropriate topics are a major turnoff, while only 9 percent of men reported the same issue with women’s suggestive comments. Research published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences has also found that women tend to prefer cleaner humor, viewing men who lean on vulgar jokes as less desirable for both casual dating and serious relationships.
The simplest takeaway is that a strong first impression is usually built on warmth, presence, and genuine interest. A 2023 study suggested that the people who come across best are the ones who stay engaged, listen well, and avoid obvious distractions. If you have a first date story where one of these habits made or broke the vibe, share your thoughts in the comments.
