Former First Lady Michelle Obama sparked a wave of online debate after sharing her thoughts on cohabitation during an episode of her podcast. The conversation was co-hosted by her brother Craig Robinson, and what started as a listener question quickly turned into one of the most discussed relationship takes of recent weeks. Obama warned upfront that her response might ruffle some feathers, and she was right. The backlash came fast and from every corner of the internet.
The whole thing began when Craig Robinson read a question from a listener who had been dating someone for about a year. The woman explained that her partner’s lease was running out and he had asked if they could move in together, with the condition that he could only contribute $500 a month toward rent while she would cover the rest. She wanted advice on how to handle the financial imbalance in such an early stage of the relationship.
Michelle Obama’s answer cut straight to the point. “If you are at the beginning of a relationship, first of all, you shouldn’t be moving in together,” she said. “I don’t care how much money he has or doesn’t have, you don’t know him yet.” She went on to explain that while attraction can happen quickly, genuine love and trust take time to develop. “It takes time for someone to fully reveal themselves to you, to know whether your affection and feelings will stand the test of time,” she added, suggesting that moving in together should be a decision made much further down the road. You can watch video here.
The reaction online was swift and largely critical. Many people on Reddit acknowledged the principle behind her advice but pointed out that it simply doesn’t hold up against today’s financial reality. One user wrote that while they understood her point, “many people are forced into these sudden decisions because of the insane cost of living or a bad starting position.” Another added that sharing a one-bedroom apartment with a partner is often cheaper and less stressful than splitting a place with strangers or roommates you barely know.
The sharpest responses questioned whether Obama’s perspective is still relevant at all. “The world she’s giving advice for is a thing of the past and doesn’t reflect the situation most people are in today,” one commenter wrote. Another took a more sarcastic tone, noting that the housing crisis has “really cut into young people’s freedom” to make choices based on relationship timelines rather than financial necessity. Some went so far as to suggest that policymakers should be doing more to address skyrocketing rent prices, indirectly calling out the Obama administration’s legacy on housing affordability.
Not everyone dismissed her advice entirely, though. Some users said they saw merit in both sides of the argument. One comment put it well, noting that while living alone for a few years after leaving home can be genuinely valuable, cohabitation also reveals things about a partner you’d never see otherwise. The tension between idealism and economic survival was at the heart of nearly every response. As one person put it, living alone is something very few people can actually afford these days.
Many commenters also brought up a point that relationship experts have long acknowledged: moving in together is one of the most revealing steps in any serious relationship. Habits, routines, and personal quirks that are easy to hide when you’re just dating tend to surface quickly when you share a living space. Some argued that this is precisely why it matters so much and why rushing into it for the wrong reasons, whether financial pressure or convenience, can lead to serious problems down the line.
Michelle Obama is a Harvard Law School graduate, author of the bestselling memoir ‘Becoming,’ and served as First Lady of the United States from 2009 to 2017 alongside President Barack Obama. She has been increasingly vocal in recent years through her podcast, where she discusses topics ranging from personal growth to relationships and public life. Craig Robinson, her older brother and podcast co-host, played professional basketball in Europe and later coached college basketball before joining his sister in media work.
Cohabitation trends in the United States have shifted dramatically over the past few decades. According to data from the Pew Research Center, the share of adults who have lived with an unmarried partner at some point in their lives has grown significantly since the 1990s. Rising housing costs in major cities have made solo living increasingly difficult for younger generations, with the average rent for a one-bedroom apartment in many urban areas now exceeding $1,500 to $2,000 per month. Research on relationship outcomes and cohabitation is mixed, with some studies suggesting that couples who move in before marriage face slightly higher rates of instability, while others find that shared living helps partners build stronger compatibility and practical foundations before making long-term commitments.
What do you think about Michelle Obama’s take on moving in together early in a relationship? Share your thoughts in the comments.
