The holidays are supposed to be the season of cosy reunions, loud kitchens, and relatives insisting you take a second serving. But for plenty of Gen Z adults, the thing they dread most is not awkward questions about dating or when they will settle down. It is work talk, and more specifically the pressure of keeping up a career story that does not feel true.
A survey by ELVTR, a platform focused on business education, looked at 2,000 employed people aged 21 to 35 and found that career fibs are surprisingly common. More than half of respondents said they had misled family in some way about their professional life. The article, shared via YourTango, suggests that the lie is not always dramatic, sometimes it is an inflated title, a polished timeline, or a confident promise about where things are headed.
For younger Gen Z respondents, the emotional toll shows up in a very specific moment, the minute someone asks, “So how is work going.” In the survey, 42 percent said job conversations at family gatherings cause at least moderate stress. A third said they have skipped a family get together altogether just to avoid those questions. That is a striking shift for a generation often painted as unbothered, because this is less about rebellion and more about feeling exposed.
Part of the tension is that the traditional holiday script has changed. USAFacts data is referenced to note that in 2024 adults in the US were less likely to be married than in almost any period since tracking began in 1940. Pew Research Center is also mentioned, reporting that only 51 percent of people aged 18 to 34 say they want children. When fewer people are following the classic milestones, career becomes the default topic that fills the silence.
At the same time, the job market is not exactly offering easy confidence. Cengage Group is cited saying only 30 percent of 2025 graduates landed a permanent job connected to their field. Yet even with that uncertainty, the desire for family approval stays strong. ELVTR’s findings suggest 45 percent feel pressure to change jobs because of relatives’ opinions, and 22 percent would consider giving up a dream job simply to be better liked.
If holiday conversations are turning into interrogations, it may be time to retire the pop quiz and replace it with questions that leave room for honesty. Instead of pushing for a neat career summary, families can ask what someone is learning, what they are curious about, or what kind of support would actually help. And for anyone tempted to vanish from the group chat, it may help to remember that one honest sentence can be lighter than months of pretending.
Have you noticed career pressure shaping holiday conversations in your family, and what questions do you wish people would stop asking? Share your thoughts in the comments.
