Job interviews often deliver surprises that stick with you long after the meeting ends. One woman recently wrapped up what she thought was a solid conversation with a hiring team only to get a rejection email focused entirely on her behavior. The note pointed out that she had shown an excessive desire to please during the discussion. It felt to them as if she was working too hard to match what she guessed they wanted to hear instead of sharing her real perspective.
The company laid out their reasoning in clear terms within the message. They explained that their culture does not revolve around people trying to accommodate everyone or putting on rehearsed enthusiasm. They seek grounded professionals who stand firmly behind their expertise without needing ongoing validation from others. The team even suggested she build more confidence and ease up on adapting just to satisfy people in future interviews.
Surprised by how personal the feedback sounded the woman turned to Reddit to share the full email. She asked the community if the employers had gone too far with such blunt details. Replies poured in and split opinions sharply down the middle. A few called the wording condescending and unnecessary while many others praised it as rare and helpful guidance most candidates never receive.
People pleasing can seem like a harmless trait at first glance in any professional setting. It often comes from a genuine wish to connect or avoid conflict during stressful moments like interviews. Yet it sometimes reads as insecurity or a lack of authenticity to those evaluating candidates. Recruiters today look for individuals who can express honest views without constant adjustment to please the room.
Author Hailey Magee specializes in topics around these behaviors and offered insights during a Harvard Business Review podcast. She pointed out that when actions stem from a need to please the person may appear flexible and relaxed externally. Internally the same efforts frequently build up resentment or deep exhaustion. Her observations explain why the habit can undermine strong performances in key situations.
Research on workplace patterns backs up these points quite clearly. Constant people pleasing makes setting firm boundaries much harder over time. It also increases chances of emotional burnout particularly when contributions go unnoticed or unsupported. Employers value team members who challenge ideas constructively and bring genuine confidence to discussions.
This type of detailed rejection though direct gives job seekers something valuable to consider. Most responses these days are short and generic leaving no room for growth. Reflecting on specific observations helps refine how one shows up in future conversations. Candidates who focus on authenticity create stronger impressions without sacrificing their positive qualities.
Preparing for interviews involves practicing ways to highlight real experiences and viewpoints naturally. Share concrete examples from your background rather than guessing at ideal answers. Building awareness of any tendency to over accommodate strengthens your overall presence. Small shifts in delivery project the secure confidence that stands out to hiring teams.
HR told me they don’t accept try-hards and people pleasers after my interview
by u/No-Presentation298 in jobs
Kindness remains a powerful asset when combined thoughtfully with assertiveness in any career. Professionals who maintain their own voice while collaborating tend to thrive and build better connections. Stories like this one remind everyone in the job market about the importance of self awareness. They show how evolving hiring practices reward balanced approaches more than ever.
The workplace gains a lot from people who blend compassion with clear conviction. Finding that sweet spot leads to improved teamwork and greater personal satisfaction down the line. Incidents involving unusual feedback encourage continuous development of soft skills such as effective self presentation. Growth happens when candidates view every experience as a chance to improve.
Share your experiences with surprising job interview feedback or balancing kindness and confidence in the workplace in the comments.
