Fleurine Tideman, a writer who covers topics related to sex and intimacy, decided to attend an adults-only party for the very first time while in her late twenties, and she did so completely sober. The event was organized by Lucid Sober Events, a series of alcohol-free kinky gatherings that have been drawing curious attendees looking for something outside the ordinary. Fleurine, who says these kinds of parties had always intrigued her, shared her full experience with readers through Glamour, giving an honest and detailed look at what actually goes on behind closed doors. Her account was candid, thoughtful, and notably free of the shock value one might expect from such a topic.
Before the event even began, organizers set up a group chat so that attendees could get acquainted with one another ahead of time. Fleurine noted that the conversation was “surprisingly normal” and that privacy was treated as the top priority from the very start. The party itself ran from 4 p.m. to 10 p.m., and when Fleurine arrived, she naturally gravitated toward the kitchen. “The first hour everyone was just hanging out there, the program hadn’t started yet,” she said, painting a picture that was far more relaxed than many might imagine.
Beyond the communal kitchen area, the venue also featured what was referred to as a play room. “The play room was hidden behind a heavy curtain, and voyeurism was not allowed,” Fleurine explained. She described a moment where she and a new friend made their way toward that space, only to be told they would need to wait because there were no available spots. “We kissed against the wall until a staff member directed us to our place,” she recalled, capturing the mix of anticipation and structure that defined the evening.
When it came to safety and hygiene, Fleurine was clear that both were taken extremely seriously. She described her overall experience as “safe, joyful, and hygienic,” which may come as a surprise to those who assume such events are careless or chaotic. “Afterward we were given a spray bottle and a roll of paper towels, like when you wipe down your Pilates mat after class,” she added with a touch of humor. The attention to cleanliness was something she found genuinely impressive and worth highlighting for anyone curious about the logistics.
Two rules stood out above all others, and Fleurine made sure to emphasize both clearly. Photography was strictly forbidden throughout the entire event, and using protection was absolutely non-negotiable. She also stressed that consent was central to everything that happened, noting that “there was really no pressure to join in the play.” In fact, she observed plenty of guests who came simply to dance and socialize, with no interest in anything more physical. The atmosphere, she said, felt “electric and liberating,” and she left having met new people and gained a perspective she had not expected.
The event was curated by a founder named Lola, who personally screens every applicant to understand their intentions before granting entry, either through a video call or a detailed questionnaire. Guests could attend solo or as a couple, and the vetting process was clearly designed to maintain the community’s standards and sense of safety. As for the dress code, lingerie and leather dominated the room, alongside nipple covers, harnesses, and what Fleurine described as bold confidence at every turn.
Adults-only lifestyle parties, sometimes referred to as “sex-positive” events, have grown in visibility across major cities in recent years as part of a broader cultural shift toward open conversations about intimacy and consent. The concept of consent culture, which centers on clear and enthusiastic agreement between all parties involved, has become a foundational principle at events like these and is increasingly discussed in mainstream conversations about relationships and sexuality. Sober events within this space, like those run by Lucid Sober Events, represent a newer niche that challenges the assumption that alcohol is necessary for social or sexual confidence. Research in psychology has long suggested that inhibition-free socializing through genuine connection rather than substances can lead to more meaningful and intentional experiences. Events built around these values often attract participants who are curious, communicative, and community-oriented rather than impulsive.
If you have thoughts or questions about adults-only events, consent culture, or sober social spaces, feel free to share them in the comments.
