In a healthy relationship, it matters to feel noticed and valued. When your effort, affection, and presence start to feel taken for granted, it can create a nagging sense that something has shifted. People show love in different ways, but small day to day changes often speak the loudest. Therapist and counselor Richard Drobnick says there are several telltale clues that a partner is no longer appreciating the person they claim to love.
One of the first changes is when the courting stops completely. It does not have to mean grand gestures or expensive plans, but a steady drop in thoughtfulness can make anyone feel like they are no longer a priority. Drobnick notes that simple moments, like a walk together, a movie night, or sharing something funny, are often what keep closeness alive. When those disappear, distance can creep in quietly.
Another common sign is a partner who no longer really listens. If your feelings are dismissed, minimized, or met with indifference, it can leave you feeling invisible in your own relationship. Drobnick also points to a dynamic where one person expects the other to think and respond exactly as they do. When differences are treated as flaws rather than something to understand, it sends the message that your perspective is not worth considering.
Many people also feel underappreciated when their behind the scenes effort is ignored. The planning, remembering birthdays, organizing schedules, and keeping life running smoothly can be exhausting when it is treated as automatic. Over time, a lack of acknowledgment can turn care into resentment. It is especially painful if that same partner shows little interest in your goals, friendships, or ambitions, because it can feel like your individuality is being brushed aside.
Drobnick adds that emotional distance often shows up as physical distance too. When tenderness fades, touch becomes rare, and intimacy feels like an afterthought, it can trigger a deep sense of rejection. Another red flag is avoiding responsibility, especially when every issue is blamed on you and apologies never come. That pattern can erode trust fast and make problem solving feel impossible.
Finally, the most heartbreaking sign is when love is treated as guaranteed. If your partner assumes you will always stay no matter how little they give back, the relationship stops feeling mutual. Love does not last on autopilot, it needs care, attention, and shared effort.
Have you ever noticed any of these shifts in a relationship, and how did you handle it? Share your thoughts in the comments.
