Few social questions spark as much quiet anxiety as timing. You’ve been invited to dinner, the start time is clear, and yet you still wonder what looks more polite, arriving a bit early or drifting in a little late. We all know the usual hosting basics, say thank you, bring something small, and don’t make a mess of the evening. But punctuality is the one rule people interpret wildly differently.
British etiquette expert William Hanson argues that for a dinner invitation, early is often worse than late. In his view, if a host says 7:30, they are aiming to be ready at 7:30, not at 7:25. Showing up even five minutes early can put pressure on someone who is still finishing food, changing clothes, or doing last minute tidying. He says he would rather deal with a guest who is half an hour late than a guest who arrives before the agreed time, because that early knock can instantly scramble the final stretch of preparation. The video can be viewed here.
He makes a clear exception for professional settings, where the clock is not flexible. If a meeting begins at 11, he says that should mean you are ready to start at 11, not arriving at 11 and then spending the next ten minutes settling in, connecting to Wi Fi, or grabbing a drink. For work, arriving a little early is the respectful move, because it protects everyone else’s schedule. Social invitations, in his framework, are built around a host’s rhythm, while business appointments are built around a shared timetable.
Unsurprisingly, not everyone agrees with his dinner logic. Some people say an early arrival is hardly a crisis, especially if it’s only a few minutes and the host is nearly set. What would bother them more is waiting around with food cooling on the table while someone strolls in late. Others point out that when they say dinner is at 7:30, they mean the meal is ready then, so a half hour delay feels inconsiderate to both the cook and the other guests.
Still, plenty of people sided with Hanson, especially those who host often. They described the pre guest sprint of cooking, cleaning, and getting themselves presentable right up to the start time. An early arrival can feel like being caught mid chaos, and it can make a host flustered when they’re trying to pull everything together. One person even shared an awkward memory of arriving an hour early to a party and ending up stuck in the kitchen with the host, a moment so uncomfortable it became the only thing they remembered from the night.
So what’s the sweet spot? If you’re heading to someone’s home, aim to arrive on time or within a small grace window, and save “early” for when you can wait nearby rather than at their door. If you’re running late, a quick message helps reset expectations and keeps the evening relaxed for everyone.
What’s your rule for dinner invitations, do you prefer guests to arrive early, right on time, or with a little built in lateness? Share your take in the comments.
