Baby boomers have become one of the most visible grandparent generations, and their influence shows up in everything from gift giving to how often they FaceTime. Born between 1946 and 1964, many of them bring a recognizable mix of optimism, work focus, and self reliance into family life. That combination can be comforting for grandchildren, but it can also create tension with adult kids who are parenting in a very different era. Understanding what shaped boomers helps explain why their grandparenting style can feel extra generous, sometimes even more indulgent than what their own children remember growing up with.
People often describe boomers as driven and career oriented, with a strong belief that effort should lead to results. Many grew up during long stretches of economic growth, which fed a mindset that tomorrow could be better than today. They also tend to value independence and “figure it out” problem solving, and that attitude can come through when they talk with grandkids about school and goals. At the same time, plenty of boomers are comfortable with technology and social platforms, so staying connected does not always require being in the same room.
One of the clearest patterns is how love gets expressed through tangible things. Toys, treats, experiences, and surprise purchases can become a kind of emotional language, especially when grandparents do not see the kids every day. Amy DeBlase, the clinical director and supervisor at “Let’s Talk Psychological Wellness,” ties that impulse to the conditions many boomers grew up with, when meeting basic needs felt like the primary marker of stability. In that framing, providing becomes a form of care, and it is less about being shallow and more about giving what once felt scarce or uncertain.
That mindset is captured in a line attributed to DeBlase that explains how priorities can differ across generations, saying boomers may place “different value on basic needs compared with emotional needs” when contrasted with their children. When a grandparent fills a closet with gifts or insists on paying for activities, it can be their way of creating security and delight at the same time. Adult parents might worry about overindulgence, but grandparents may see it as building happy memories and easing pressures they know modern families face. In other words, the spending is often symbolic, not just material.
Childcare is another place where boomers can have an outsized impact, although it does not look the same in every household. Research from the Harris Poll in 2023 found that 42 percent of working parents rely on grandparents for childcare, and grandmothers are especially likely to step in when last minute help is needed. Separate findings from Generations United and MetLife have also pointed to a significant share of grandparents regularly caring for a grandchild. Even so, many parents feel a gap between what they hoped for and what they receive, partly because boomers are more likely to work longer and retire later than earlier generations.
Distance has pushed many families to lean on screens, and boomers have adapted more than they sometimes get credit for. The pandemic accelerated video calls and social media check ins, and plenty of grandparents kept those habits once life reopened. An AARP report from 2019 noted that more than half of grandparents had at least one grandchild living over 300 kilometers away, and about a third lived at least 80 kilometers from their closest grandchild. Technology helps bridge that, but many still prefer in person time and gravitate toward shared outings like a museum visit or a movie.
Achievement can be a major theme in boomer grandparenting, especially for those who spent decades measuring progress through education and career milestones. They often show up proudly for school events and celebrate visible wins, and that support can boost a child’s confidence. The flip side is that a strong success focus can make some grandparents more judgmental when a child struggles, because they may see performance as proof of effort. Younger parents are often more likely to frame setbacks as learning experiences, so the same report card can trigger encouragement from one generation and pressure from another.
All of this sits inside a broader truth about family roles. Grandparents are not primary parents, which means they can be the fun zone, the calm refuge, or the special treat everyone looks forward to. When grandparents and parents agree on boundaries, the extra sweetness can feel like a gift to the whole household. When they do not, it can spark conflicts about discipline, screen time, food, and what “help” should look like.
For readers who like the bigger picture, “Baby Boomers” is the common label for the post World War II generation often defined as those born from 1946 to 1964. In everyday conversation, “grandparenting” covers many roles, from occasional babysitting to being a consistent caregiver, and researchers often separate that from “custodial grandparents” who raise grandchildren full time. Intergenerational relationships also tend to reflect big social shifts, including later retirement, longer life expectancy, higher mobility, and the rise of digital communication that keeps families close across long distances. If you have boomer grandparents in your life, their style may be shaped as much by history and economics as by personality, so the best outcomes usually come from clear expectations and plenty of empathy on both sides.
What do you think is the biggest reason baby boomer grandparents tend to be more indulgent with grandkids, share your perspective in the comments.
