Infidelity is one of those fears that can quietly reshape how people read every look, pause, and text notification in a relationship. A body language expert named Linda Clemons recently described several subtle shifts that, in her view, can sometimes point to a partner hiding something. The key idea is not to jump to conclusions, but to notice patterns that feel new or out of character. One unusual detail she highlights involves where someone’s feet keep drifting during emotional conversations.
Clemons says one of the earliest signs is not a dramatic change, but a sense that your partner is mentally elsewhere. It can feel like they are present physically, yet distracted in a way that does not match their usual attention. As she puts it, “A man who is emotionally involved is naturally focused on his partner.” She adds that when someone splits attention between two worlds, “he becomes reserved and cautious, as if he is constantly watching himself.”
Eye contact can also change in ways that feel off, even if you cannot immediately explain why. Clemons suggests that when someone is concealing something, eye contact can become unnatural and performative. In her words, “If someone is hiding something, eye contact is no longer natural.” She says it may swing to extremes, either avoiding your gaze or holding it slightly too long as though they are trying to prove sincerity.
The avoidance version can look like sudden fascination with anything except you, such as a phone, the TV, or even the ceiling. The opposite version can feel like an intense stare that does not match the emotional moment. Clemons describes it as maintaining a look “a little too long, as if he wants to prove he is honest.” She warns that neither extreme is neutral and may be worth paying attention to if it appears alongside other changes. On its own, though, it can still have many explanations.
Another shift she mentions is a change in voice and conversational style. Some partners start speaking more quietly, which can feel like the emotional temperature in the room drops. Clemons explains it this way, “That is how they try to control the conversation and keep it within limits.” When that happens, answers may become short, stripped of warmth, and oddly careful, as though every sentence is being filtered.
Technology habits can be a flashpoint for suspicion, and Clemons notes that increased protectiveness around a phone is often what people notice first. That might include quickly hiding the screen, flipping the phone face down, or acting tense if you come near while they are typing. The tricky part is that many people are simply private, especially if work messages and personal conversations mix on one device. What matters is whether the behavior is new, defensive, and paired with other emotional distancing. A single habit change rarely tells the whole story.
The most unusual detail in her list is about feet, because people rarely think to watch them. Clemons says that if someone’s feet repeatedly angle toward the exit, like a doorway, hallway, or open space, it can signal a desire to leave the situation. She describes it like this, “If his feet keep ‘escaping’ toward the exit while you talk, especially when the topic is emotional, it may be that his body is showing a desire to remove himself.” In the same spirit, she mentions leaning back, crossing arms, or sitting on the edge of a chair as possible signs of withdrawal.
Even with all these cues, Clemons stresses that body language is not a lie detector and suspicion is not proof. A defensive tone, delayed reactions, or sudden changes in intimacy can be connected to many issues besides cheating. Stress, burnout, work pressure, anxiety, or general dissatisfaction can all change how someone speaks, moves, and connects. That is why she emphasizes caution and urges people not to accuse without clear facts. The healthiest next step is usually an honest conversation rather than a courtroom-style interrogation.
If you decide to talk, it helps to focus on feelings and observations instead of accusations. Saying you miss their attention, or that recent distance has been hard, invites dialogue more than claiming you know what is happening. Ask open questions that make it easier for someone to explain what has been weighing on them. If they respond with empathy and accountability, that tells you something important about the relationship’s foundation. If the response is contempt, stonewalling, or constant deflection, that also tells you something, even if it does not confirm cheating.
More broadly, body language research often emphasizes clusters and context, not single gestures. People cross their arms because they are cold, tired, or self-soothing, not only because they are hiding something. Avoiding eye contact can be shame, stress, or neurodiversity, while intense eye contact can be anxiety or an attempt to connect. That is why many communication experts recommend watching for consistent deviations from a person’s baseline behavior. The most reliable “signal” is often a sustained change in openness, kindness, and willingness to repair conflict.
It can also help to remember that confirmation bias is powerful once suspicion takes hold. When you are anxious, your brain starts collecting “evidence” everywhere, and ordinary moments can feel loaded. If trust has already been damaged, couples counseling can provide a structured place to talk through fears, boundaries, and expectations. If you do uncover real betrayal, support from trusted friends, a therapist, or a counselor can help you make clear decisions instead of reacting in panic. In the meantime, keep your focus on communication, self-respect, and patterns that are real rather than imagined.
What do you think is the most reliable sign that something is wrong in a relationship, and which clues do you think people misread most often, share your thoughts in the comments.
