Two Texas parents with STEM careers are taking a deliberate approach to early learning, not by drilling flashcards, but by shaping how their toddler thinks. Upasna Gautam and her husband, Dr. Christopher Menges, say their daily habits are designed around “building strong cognitive foundations” while their daughter’s brain is developing at full speed. Their goal is less about raising a tiny genius and more about helping a child become comfortable with effort, curiosity, and problem solving. In an age when answers are always one tap away, they see independent thinking as a skill worth protecting.
Gautam explained to Newsweek that the early years are a critical window for building the mental patterns kids will rely on later. She and Menges, who works as a veterinarian and epidemiologist, base their routines on developmental psychology ideas, pediatric guidance, and what feels right for their family. A big theme is letting their daughter do real cognitive work, even when it is messy or slow. They believe that rushing in too quickly can quietly teach children that struggle is something to avoid.
One practice is encouraging their child to explain her thinking, even if her explanation is incomplete. The point is not perfect logic from a 2 year old, but getting her used to narrating what she sees, wants, and intends to do. When kids practice putting thoughts into words, they strengthen language skills that later support reading comprehension and reasoning. It also signals that their ideas matter, which can boost confidence and attention.
A second habit is allowing a brief, safe struggle before offering help. Gautam described giving her daughter about 30 seconds to wrestle with a puzzle before stepping in, which frames difficulty as normal and manageable. In her words, “I trust you to handle hard things.” That message can build frustration tolerance over time, which matters in school when tasks stop being instantly rewarding. It also helps kids learn that persistence often comes right before progress.
The parents also try to go deeper when their daughter asks questions. Instead of a quick, shallow reply, they add context and follow her curiosity a step further, as long as she stays engaged. This kind of back and forth turns everyday moments into learning without extra materials or expensive programs. It is not about delivering a lecture, but about treating “why” as the start of a conversation rather than a distraction.
Another practice is modeling mistakes out loud instead of hiding them. When adults pretend they never slip up, children can start to believe that smart people do everything effortlessly. Gautam and Menges do the opposite by acknowledging errors and showing how to recover calmly. That approach encourages a growth mindset where learning is a process, not a performance.
They also avoid finishing their daughter’s sentences, even when they can guess what she is trying to say. Waiting gives a child room to organize thoughts, practice vocabulary, and feel heard. Gautam has described this patience as a way to build emotional safety and communication skills, adding, “That builds security.” Over time, kids who are given space to speak often become more confident expressing needs and ideas.
The couple’s perspective is shaped by worries about a world saturated with artificial intelligence. They argue that if children lean on tools for constant solutions, they may miss chances to develop mental stamina and critical thinking. Their hope is that when their daughter is older, she can evaluate what technology offers instead of accepting it automatically. For them, strengthening the thinking process matters more than memorizing facts.
Educational psychologist and learning specialist Aneal Bharath praised the general direction, calling it “smart parenting.” He also offered a reality check, noting that expecting toddlers to explain reasoning precisely can be unrealistic, but the repetition and exposure still have value. In other words, the practice can be worthwhile even if the output is adorable chaos at first. Bharath emphasized that the goal is raising “a child who knows how to think,” not a child trained to compete with machines.
Gautam also stressed that you do not need a science background to use these ideas at home. She has pointed out that simple habits, like asking a child why they want something, pausing before rescuing them, and naming your own slip ups, can fit into any routine. Even the phrase “Mama made a mistake” can normalize learning through trial and error. The bigger takeaway is that conversation, patience, and everyday problem solving can matter more than fancy toys or costly educational products.
To put this topic in a broader context, early childhood researchers often highlight how executive function develops through practice, including working memory, flexible thinking, and self control. Unstructured play supports these skills because kids make their own rules, test ideas, and learn social negotiation without constant adult direction. Language rich interactions at home are also linked with stronger vocabulary growth, which later supports reading and academic learning. Frustration tolerance is another key ingredient since children who can stay calm through difficulty are more likely to persist in challenging tasks.
What routines have you found most effective for helping kids build patience, curiosity, and real problem solving, and which ones feel unrealistic in daily family life, share your thoughts in the comments.
