Five weeks after welcoming a baby girl, new dad Korab Idrizi took to TikTok to share what pregnancy and delivery taught him from a partner’s point of view. He didn’t try to be poetic, and he didn’t dress anything up. That blunt honesty is exactly why the post struck a nerve, with people telling him it should be required viewing for anyone about to become a parent.
He started with something that should be obvious, yet still isn’t. Stop commenting on pregnant bodies. He described how often strangers and acquaintances felt entitled to weigh in on his wife’s size, shape, or how she “should” look for her stage of pregnancy. In his eyes, those remarks weren’t compliments, just awkward judgments disguised as conversation.
From there, he talked about the role a partner can play in making pregnancy feel safer instead of more stressful. He said he and his wife had long talked about having three or four children, and he wanted her to feel supported enough to want to do it again. His approach wasn’t grand gestures so much as learning to listen, reassure, and stay present even when his instinct was to be practical and “logical.” The message was simple: comfort matters more than clever solutions.
One of the biggest surprises for him was how different the ninth month can feel compared to everything that comes before it. He described swelling, limited mobility, and the way even short walks or leaving the house could suddenly feel like too much. For someone who likes to be on the move, that shift can be frustrating, so he encouraged partners to plan for slower weeks and find at home ways to connect, from games to low key routines.
@korabidrizi You support your child by supporting your wife through pregnancy and delivery. Be the calming presence she can rely on while everything around her is shifting. #laboranddelivery #parents #psychology ♬ original sound – Korab Idrizi | M.S.
When labor began, he learned another lesson the hard way. Even with bags packed and a plan in place, panic can take over the second reality hits. Their induction was scheduled, but his wife’s water broke the day after Thanksgiving, and he froze. In the moment, she became the one giving instructions, while he tried to catch up emotionally.
He also urged partners to stay flexible about birth plans and pain relief. If someone hopes for an unmedicated delivery and later changes their mind, he said it’s not the partner’s place to judge. He recalled how intense the process looked up close, and how important it was to be a steady presence, especially during moments when staff needed everyone to stay calm and still.
His final reminder was equal parts funny and pointed. Don’t bring a gaming console into the delivery room, and don’t act like the chaos of birth is something to be grossed out by. Bodily mess, fear, and vulnerability are part of the job, and the partner’s role is to normalize it, hold a hand, and keep reinforcing that she’s doing great.
What do you think partners get most wrong, and most right, during pregnancy and birth? Share your thoughts in the comments.
