Crying in the car

This is a self reflection piece. No words of wisdom. Just wanted to you to know that I was human. We’ve all had those moments where we cry in the car. A few weeks ago as I parked my car I noticed a woman in the car next to me. With her brown, wavy hair framing her face and both hands on the steering wheel, I could see she was very still. Though her body was still, I could see the whites of her knuckles gripping the steering wheel as if she was holding on for dear life even though the car was not moving. This woman who I did not know was crying in the car. It made my heart sad for her because whatever she was crying about, she needed some comfort and some prayer. I realized that me going up to the window might freak her out so I just offered up a silent prayer in hopes that God would ease whatever it was that burdened her thoughts.

We’ve all done it . . . we’ve cried in the car

Or maybe I’m the only one. I am definitely an expert at crying. I cry for a lot of reasons and I especially love crying when I’m happy. I also understand what it is like to cry when you are sad or when life gets so hard that you can’t help but cry. Seeing that woman in the car crying made me think of all the many times I have cried in the car. I WANT to believe that I am the ice queen with no emotion and in many situations I APPEAR like that. I take my time processing my thoughts and emotions because I have experience of what can happen when you lose control. It would not be uncommon for people to be so straight faced at work, church or home and then take a few minutes to release their emotions for a few minutes in their parked car. It’s OK. I do reiterate PARKED because I don’t recommend being very emotional while driving a moving vehicle. In fact, some moms can get so frustrated with what is going on in the house or with the kids that they will go into the parked car in the garage just so that they can have their cry. I worry about you moms and I pray for you because being a mom is not easy. We all have a weak moment and we try to look strong in front of so many people.

Crying on my morning drive

Today was a different kind of day. Over the weekend a beloved morning radio DJ, Kidd Kraddick in the morning on 106.1 KISS FM passed away so suddenly. Since I moved here to Dallas 13 years ago, I have listened to that station on my morning commutes. I think of all the vehicles I have owned and the many times that Kidd Kraddick and his crew made me laugh and cry – all in the car. I think of the obsession with American Idol that KISS FM had along with the many celebrities that graced the show before they became big celebrities. I remember KIDD talking about his life and his passions. He will be sorely missed. What made me cry even more was not just hearing his co-hosts crying on this morning’s show but also other Dallas radio stations talking about how inspirational he was and how encouraging he was with just a simple note or email all the way up to a job referral or helping out with bills. I guess it made me cry because it reminded me about how good people can be. It was also helpful to reflect on how much you can impact and influence people in your life.  With a lot of emotions going on over the weekend and this morning I did cry in the car but it was saying goodbye to a radio icon and reflecting on the person I am and who I want to be.

My boyfriend is a road warrior

My boyfriend, El Mecanico, is an avid road warrior. He is always in the car and on the road. So many of his thoughts and reflections about life are made on the road. When we are able to, and he slows down enough, he makes his way to me and there is nothing more romantic than some of the smallest slivers of time that we get to spend with each other and the kids. He’s another reason why I cried this morning. I guess when you finally come to the realization that you found someone who can calm you in your most difficult moments, you realize that you are not going to waste your time competing with them, making them jealous or worrying about timelines. I think about him, friends and family and what life would be like if they were gone tomorrow. I wonder about what I would leave behind if my time came too soon. I have communicated good news, bad news, sad news, exciting news and all of the above in the car.

So we cry in the car and we mind our thoughts in traffic. Our steering wheels become the sounding boards for our feelings. I have pondered life in the car and friends have shared their life with me in the car. I’ve watched movies in the car and taken road trips with memories to last a lifetime. I’ve grown up with the car as my constant companion. With car seats in the back and countless memories on the road, I’m given God’s greatest reminder and now I’m more aware of why we Cry in the Car.