When it comes to dating, money might not be the most romantic topic, but according to divorce attorney Jacqueline Combs of the law firm Blank Rome, it’s one of the most important things to discuss early on because financial disagreements are a leading cause of relationship breakdowns. A Harris Poll survey of more than 2,000 adults found that 74 % consider financial stability a highly attractive trait in a partner, while red flags include someone who rushes to combine finances too quickly (67 %) or immediately requests to split bills via an app after the date (57 %).
Combs told CNBC that since choosing a life partner is one of the biggest financial decisions you’ll make, how someone thinks about money early in the relationship can provide valuable insight into their long‑term habits and values. Instead of putting your date on the spot, she suggests weaving financial questions into a natural conversation about past experiences or future aspirations.
Here are the six questions she recommends asking on a first date to get a sense of someone’s financial mindset:
- If you won the lottery today, what would you spend the money on?
- What are your thoughts on the cost of children’s education, such as paying for college or private schools?
- How did you manage expenses during college or when you first lived on your own?
- What unexpected financial expense has surprised you the most?
- What larger expense are you currently saving for?
- Do you make coffee at home or buy it every day at a café?
Combs emphasizes that these questions aren’t meant to judge someone’s answers but to reveal how they think about spending, saving, planning, and priorities. A relaxed discussion about money can show how comfortable your date is with financial topics and whether their habits align with yours. While not everyone may want to dive into financial details right away, consistently avoiding such questions may be a sign to approach the relationship with caution.
Understanding someone’s approach to money early on can help you decide whether your financial values are compatible, which may save you stress and conflict down the road. In general, healthy communication about finances—whether on a first date or later—supports stronger relationships because money is deeply tied to goals, lifestyle, and trust. Many experts advise that open conversations about money shouldn’t be avoided just because the topic feels awkward; addressing it openly encourages transparency and respect between partners.
As you think about what matters most in a relationship, consider how financial habits and openness contribute to long‑term compatibility, and share your thoughts in the comments.
