I lied today. I told someone dear to me that I didn’t care about them anymore when in fact I did and still do. In hindsight I don’t agree with what I did but I went that route and there was no hope in recovering from the horrible things we said to each other. I failed to gently let go of the thing that wasn’t meant for me. In that I pray to God and I apologize for causing that person suffering.
The learning lesson here is that I forgot to adhere to the Four Agreements I made to myself. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is one of the most insightful books on how to lead your life. In it, the book says these are the four main agreements you make in your life:
1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.
I failed to do this and I think we all have done this. We are hurt and we lash out. We say untruths because telling the truth only serves to deepen our sadness and expose the reality of our lives. I hurt not just him but other people in my life by my failure to speak with integrity. I was wrong and I said sorry and I moved on. I moved on as gently as I could.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
He said something to me and I took it personally. Had I just listened and let it go, I don’t think I’d be losing a friend right now. The learning lesson here is that the pain and suffering we go through when we are sad to see loved ones go is what helps us learn to cherish those around us.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
I am a personal believer in the fact that time will heal all wounds. We will eventually get back to our version of normalcy and the love or the friendships we lost will be replaced by new friends, new loves and new moments. Time is always moving and the best thing we can do is to make the best of what we have in the present and those that truly do love us for our authentic selves.
I’m about as graceful as a baby horse that is just born.It is in the many emotional challenges that I realize why I need the courage to accept more than what is put out in front of me.
How do you live in the Four Agreements?