Parents have always had opinions about who their kids should date, but apps have added a whole new layer to the drama. A 33-year-old woman recently found herself in an uncomfortable showdown after learning her mother created a Bumble profile for her without permission. She shared the situation in a HuffPost advice column, unsure how to move forward without rewarding the behavior.
The woman explained that she has been single since a long-term college relationship ended. They were together for five years, and the breakup happened in her mid-twenties. Since then, she has tried dating apps, introductions through friends, and meeting people at different events. Even with a few short relationships and dates, nothing became serious enough to bring home.
Her mother, 63, didn’t hide her disappointment. She often hinted that her daughter should have stayed with her ex and pointed to her own love story as proof that settling down earlier is the “right” path. The mother met her husband in her early twenties, and they are still happily married, which only fueled her impatience. The daughter said those comments stung, especially when her mother framed it as her “waiting too long” or not trying hard enough.
What made it worse was the gap between how older relatives imagine online dating and what it can actually feel like. The woman didn’t want to argue about the daily grind of shallow messages and awkward small talk on apps like Tinder. Still, she felt judged, as if her relationship status was a personal failure instead of a complicated mix of timing, luck, and compatibility. Over time, she put serious effort into therapy and learning to feel content on her own while still hoping to find love.
Then came the shock. Her mother presented a Bumble profile she had made for her, complete with photos and a paid premium subscription. The daughter admitted the profile wasn’t a disaster, but the photos were a bit old and the details felt generic and impersonal. What bothered her was the audacity of signing up on her behalf and treating it like a simple problem she should have solved already.
The argument that followed turned into days of silence, and now her father and brother want her to smooth things over. She also noted that her mother hadn’t messaged anyone, but the damage was done. She felt embarrassed and disrespected, and she worried that making peace too quickly would send the message that this kind of boundary crossing is acceptable.
Marriage and family therapist Saba Harouni Lurie said the mother’s move went too far and brushed up against the idea of catfishing. She emphasized that boundaries matter, including spelling out what support should look like and what does not help. Dating coach Julie Nguyen, who works with the app Hily, added that the best family support is rooted in encouragement, humor, and real interest without judgment, not pressure or panic about time running out.
What would you do if a parent tried to “help” like this, and where do you think the line should be drawn? Share your thoughts in the comments.
