A father from Generation X admits that watching the news can sometimes make his stomach drop. He wants to be the best dad he can be and protect his kids from pain and disappointment, but he also knows he cannot shield them from everything. In a piece shared by YourTango, he explains that he understands what it is like to grow up as a boy and later live as a man. Even though he sees himself as a decent person, he still finds himself wondering what kind of people his sons will become.
Part of that worry comes from how unpredictable the future feels, especially when he looks at the world his boys are growing up in. He believes personality is shaped very early, even before birth, yet he also thinks a father can have an enormous influence. That belief is personal for him because his biological father was not present in his life. His dad left when he was eight, and they only reconnected decades later. In contrast, the stepfather who entered his life in his teen years showed him what real parenting looks like through care, presence, and love.
Because of that experience, he approaches fatherhood as something you do, not just something you are. He is not focused on small daily hassles as much as the big lessons that shape character. He is thinking about how to help his sons grow into men who are kind, steady, and emotionally aware. He wants them to be able to move through the world with empathy instead of entitlement. He also wants them to know that strength is not the same thing as hardness.
One of his biggest fears is the power of bad influences. He describes a world full of people who are rude, selfish, and disrespectful, and he does not want his sons to absorb that as normal. He is not talking about harmless differences in hobbies or opinions, but about a lack of basic human decency. In his view, the best protection against that is love that stays consistent even when a child messes up. He tries to offer unconditional support so his kids learn accountability without losing their sense of worth.
Instead of forcing his opinions, he focuses on listening and trying to understand who his sons are becoming. He hopes that respect inside the family can become a template for respect outside it. That includes respect for people who look different, believe differently, or come from a different background. He frames respect as something that grows from compassion, not from fear. If his sons learn compassion early, he believes they will be less likely to treat others like targets.
Peer violence worries him too, especially because boys often carry those experiences quietly. Bullying can show up later as withdrawal, acting out, or aggression, and it can reshape how a child sees the world. A kid who feels unsafe may decide that shutting down is the only way to survive. Another may decide they have to strike first to avoid being hurt again. This father wants his sons to know they can talk to him before pain hardens into a habit. He sees emotional openness as prevention, not weakness.
He is also afraid his sons could learn to treat violence as a solution. He points to the way boys and men are sometimes raised with the idea that force earns respect, and he believes that message can be passed down without anyone even noticing. From his own experience, he knows violence can leave deep scars, even when the incident is brief. Trauma can change the way a person interprets danger and conflict for years. While he cannot change society on his own, he believes he can influence what his sons practice at home.
So he aims to teach both self protection and conflict avoidance, depending on what the moment requires. He wants his boys to understand that real strength includes self control and clear thinking. He pushes the idea that you can be strong without being cruel and confident without being reckless. He encourages them to pause before reacting and to consider consequences. If they can learn that early, they may be less likely to confuse impulse with courage.
Another fear is heartbreak, because he does not believe boys feel loss any less deeply than girls do. He rejects the stereotype that guys bounce back easily or should just tough it out. He expects his sons will face disappointment, rejection, and grief in relationships at some point. The difference is that boys are often taught to hide those feelings, which can turn sadness into anger or numbness. He wants his sons to know it is normal to feel hurt and to say so.
He also wants them to understand they do not have to go through emotional pain alone. In his view, love and support are just as important during a breakup as they are during any other life crisis. He encourages open conversations so his sons can name what they feel without shame. When a parent stays calm and present during a child’s hardest emotions, the child learns that emotions are manageable. That lesson can shape how they treat partners, friends, and even their own future children.
It also helps to understand a little context about the generation he comes from and the world his sons are inheriting. Generation X is often described as independent and skeptical, shaped by cultural shifts and a lot of change in family life and media. Many people raised in that era absorbed messages about being tough and handling problems privately. Today’s kids face different pressures, including constant online comparison and faster social feedback, which can amplify bullying and emotional stress. That makes emotional literacy, empathy, and healthy models of masculinity even more important for parents who want their sons to grow into caring men.
If you are raising boys, share what lessons you think matter most for helping them grow into respectful, emotionally grounded men in the comments.
