Every spring, as First Communion season kicks into gear, the same heated debate resurfaces across parenting and family Facebook groups: just how much cash is someone actually expected to hand over as a gift? The question might seem simple, but it opens up a surprisingly passionate conversation about social expectations, tradition, and money. Opinions vary wildly, and no two families seem to agree on what counts as an appropriate amount.
Based on discussions circulating in online communities, the suggested range sits anywhere from around $100 to $300 or even higher. Some commenters are firm in their stance, with one writing that “$300 is the bare minimum these days with the cost of everything.” Others are quick to note that this kind of expectation depends heavily on how close you are to the family, with some specifying that those figures only apply to immediate relatives rather than casual guests.
Not everyone is on board with the gift-giving pressure, though. One particularly thoughtful Facebook commenter pushed back against the transactional mindset altogether: “I host a lunch for the gathering and the celebration of the sacrament, not so that others can see we’re celebrating while I expect guests to cover my expenses. Wherever I go, I give what I can, not according to some custom or calculated cost. And it always comes from the heart. If someone invites me just for appearances, I don’t even want to go!” That comment resonated with many who feel that the spiritual significance of the occasion is being overshadowed by financial expectations.
The debate gets even more complicated when godparents are involved. One Reddit user shared a dilemma that struck a chord with many readers, writing that his wife insisted he give $300 for his godchild’s First Communion, but he felt that was excessive. His concern? “How much do I give for Confirmation then, $500? I don’t want the parents talking badly about me, but I also have my own expenses.” It is a genuine bind that many people in similar positions face, caught between social obligation and personal budget.
For those looking for more grounded advice, several people chimed in with more modest suggestions. One commenter noted that “$100 is more than enough, and I had my communion about 15 years ago and I don’t think I received more than $50 from anyone.” Another suggested putting “$100 in an envelope and maybe a small keepsake on the side, like a piece of jewelry, something they’ll keep as a memory. There is really no need to go overboard.” And in what may be the most unexpected suggestion of the thread, one commenter offered a different approach entirely: “Make an unexpected move and give them the book ‘The God Delusion.’”
First Communion is one of the seven sacraments of the Catholic Church, specifically known as the Eucharist, and it marks the first time a baptized child receives the body and blood of Christ in the form of consecrated bread and wine. In most Catholic traditions, children receive their First Communion around the age of seven or eight, which the Church historically refers to as the “age of reason.” The ceremony is typically accompanied by a family celebration, which in many cultures has grown into a significant social event complete with meals, gatherings, and yes, gifts. The practice of giving monetary gifts or presents at such milestones is deeply rooted in Central and Southern European Catholic culture, where these sacramental events are treated with the same weight as birthdays or weddings.
The broader question of how much to give at religious milestones is one that financial etiquette experts have long wrestled with, and there is genuinely no universal answer. Most guidance suggests giving what feels comfortable and sincere rather than stretching beyond your means to meet some imagined social standard. The gesture itself, whether modest or generous, tends to matter far less than the thought and intention behind it.
If you have been in this situation yourself or have strong feelings about gift-giving customs at events like First Communion, share your thoughts in the comments.
