Lauren Harkins, a 35-year-old resident of Portland, Maine, has captured public attention by speaking openly about her life as a virgin. She has never been in a romantic relationship or experienced intimacy with anyone. Far from feeling ashamed, Harkins considers her virginity a source of strength and empowerment. It reflects deliberate choices she has made over the years.
Harkins emphasizes that her decision has nothing to do with religious beliefs or waiting for marriage. She also does not follow a formal path of celibacy. Instead, she simply has not encountered a person with whom sharing her body feels natural and right. Vulnerability in intimacy remains a significant hurdle for her.
During her teenage years and twenties, Harkins prioritized building her own identity over pursuing dating or sexual experiences. She watched friends navigate various relationships, from committed partnerships to casual encounters, without feeling any urge to join them. Establishing who she is and what she truly wants took precedence. A fulfilling connection may come in the future, but she refuses to force it.
“For me, sex isn’t about opportunity; it’s about intention,” Harkins explained in a recent interview. She describes herself as an all-or-nothing person when it comes to relationships. Desire and curiosity have surfaced at times, yet the deep alignment needed for intimacy has not. Intimacy, in her view, must feel like self-respect rather than compromise.
Harkins actively shares her perspective on Instagram and TikTok under the handle @itslaurenciaga. Several of her videos have attracted millions of views and sparked meaningful conversations. Many viewers express surprise that she does not fit common stereotypes associated with virginity. She dismisses those outdated ideas as irrelevant to her reality.
People often assume virgins follow strict traditional or religious rules, but Harkins challenges that notion directly. Her story centers on personal alignment and refusing external pressure. She hopes her openness helps others feel more comfortable with their own timelines. Standing firm in her standards brings her genuine peace.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that the average age for first sexual intercourse in the United States is 17. Social media platforms have transformed how younger generations perceive intimacy, sometimes reducing it to quick validation or performance. Harkins argues that these influences can flatten important discussions about connection. She encourages people to prioritize authentic experiences over societal timelines.
Harkins seeks a partner who offers emotional safety and mutual understanding. Intellectual and spiritual engagement matter deeply to her, along with shared values and life visions. Chemistry alone is not enough; she wants an undeniable sense of ease and recognition. Until that arrives, she remains content with her choices.
“It’s far better to stand alone than to betray yourself simply to keep pace with the crowd,” she stated. Sex represents the ultimate energetic exchange in her eyes, something too meaningful to share casually for approval. Her pride in virginity stems from this commitment to intention over expectation. Many who follow her online find inspiration in that stance.
Virginity generally refers to never having had penetrative sexual intercourse, though definitions vary across cultures and individuals. Studies show that a small but significant percentage of American adults remain virgins into their thirties and beyond for diverse reasons, ranging from personal preference to lack of opportunity. Modern dating apps and cultural shifts have altered relationship patterns for millennials, often leading to delayed milestones compared to previous generations. Conversations around delayed intimacy continue to evolve as people reclaim agency over their bodies and timelines.
What do you think about waiting for true alignment before becoming intimate—share your thoughts in the comments.
