I am at the proverbial gates of cougar-dom. Being in my mid 30’s I realize that the decade of my 40’s are quickly approaching and that my approach to dating, relationships and how I interact with men are changing. I have always been the type that enjoyed the company of older men – possible 10 to 15 years older than me but as pickings get slimmer and my patience gets shorter I realize that there is a distinct possibility that I will in fact be approached by younger men. I really should have more of an open mind when it comes to the conquests of these individuals because they are learning as well. Many of them have never been married or spent some time working on their careers or in their military stints and so dating is definitely not in their forte. Depending upon the personality and the finesse of the woman involved, the much older woman or cougar will definitely have a way with words and wiles. I do not believe I am at that stage because if I am disgusted or annoyed I make it painfully obvious about my emotions. There have been many times when I have been approached by the younger, virile and not so virile man.
When the young cub is looking for phone intimacy
Having a website called Dallas Single Mom with a corresponding phone number where people can get information means that I will in fact get phone calls at all hours of the night. Imagine getting tons of text messages from men thinking they are getting a free phone chat line. On the contrary, I use this as an opportunity to minister. I will get the regular text that says “Hey!” Based on that alone, I can tell you the person on the other end of that phone is most likely in their early twenties. The easiest thing to do is to ignore them but when I want to have fun, I will text back and say this is a place of business do they have a question. To my surprise they will text back “Sorry!” or for the truly bold, they will text back, “I’m looking for a cougar!”
Honestly, I am so tempted to tell them “Have you tried the zoo?” but seeing that I have a degree in communications I would love to help them improve something in their approach. The first thing I do is explain that their approach is not going to work with anyone – cougars or non-cougars. I proceeded to ask the young man what he had to offer a woman and he pretty much stated “Nothing!’ He had been in jail for drug possession, was unemployed, still used drugs, and had no college education. I laid it on thick and told him what his problem was. With all of those things against him he had nothing to offer a cougar. No sense of security, no education, nothing to talk about and of course no money to enjoy any kind of activity. I directed this young man to his local church to hopefully get some help on some of the things going on in his life. Then I blocked his number from the office line. This is not a date but it is an encounter, even if strange.
Let’s buy shots
I have also noticed that young cubs love to buy shots. A few weeks ago while out at the a club in Dallas, near the Knox-Henderson area, I chatted with this guy who had just turned 30. Now that’s not all that young but I loved his approach about trying to find some commonalities. That is such a great way to start a conversation with a female. Then as the evening went on, he he started buying a round of shots. I’m not a shot girl and I know some women love that but I personally do not like being bought shots of Whiskey. Of course I took my shot and walked away but I sometimes get suspicious of that wondering if they wanted me to get drunk too fast. It’s probably my trust issues but I’m not that much of a party girl to not see between the lines of that. So are there any advantages to dating a younger man? If you can think of any, tell me.
The football player
In my younger days before children and I was in my mid twenties, I dated a college football player. When I was college aged, I was very shy and probably did not blossom at all until I graduated so I thought it was a big deal to be dating a college football player even though I was about 7 years his senior. The only thing about it was hanging out in his dorm room after a night of drinking because he couldn’t go to the bar or the nightclub. So I guess that’s why it didn’t last, but he was very nice and always willing to lend a hand. Eventually not being able to eat out at nice restaurants or hang out where I wanted took it’s toll.
So there you have it, three instances where I came across a younger man. Not the stuff of romance like what I have had with men my own age or older. Nonetheless it gives me something to think about. I don’t think I could ever date a younger man. As a single mom, I don’t think there is much we’d have in common.
So have you ever dated a much younger man? What was your experience like?
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