A mother in New York is pushing back on the idea that kids must have separate bedrooms to thrive, and she says her family’s setup is intentional. Sarah Almodovar, 35, lives with her husband, Peterson, 34, and their three children in a two bedroom apartment in Washington Heights in Manhattan. People regularly ask what will happen as the children get older, and her answer is that the point is not to copy an idealized version of family life. She believes the way they live is teaching the kids skills that will matter long after childhood.
In a video she shared on Instagram, Almodovar opened with a warning about how her message might land. “I’m going to say something some people might not like,” she said as she introduced her perspective. “I’m not saying this to judge anyone, but even asking, ‘Don’t your kids need separate rooms?’ comes from a privileged place. I know what I’m talking about because I grew up with privilege too.” For her, the conversation is less about square footage and more about the assumptions people bring to parenting.
Part of the story, she explained, is that she and her husband were raised in very different environments. Peterson grew up in the city and shared a room with his brothers, in the same apartment the family lives in today. Almodovar, on the other hand, spent her childhood in the countryside with a big yard and a separate room for each child. Those contrasting experiences shaped what they value now, and they decided they did not want a home defined by excess space or excess stuff.
She said their choice is not a last resort, even though many people treat it that way. “A lot of people see living in a smaller space or sharing a room as a last resort, but for us it was a deliberate choice,” Almodovar explained. “We see a lot of value in having fewer things and sharing space. Our childhood experiences taught us how important closeness and connection are, and we build that intentionally, including through physical closeness.” In her view, togetherness is not something you schedule, it is something you practice every day.
The family’s approach also challenges the common idea that privacy only exists behind walls and closed doors. Instead of equating privacy with a larger apartment, she says it is built through communication and clear boundaries. That is why the children learn early how to speak up about their needs and how to respect someone else’s space even when everyone is close together. For Almodovar, it is preparation for real life, where roommates, dorm living, and shared homes are common.
They have also made the apartment work through simple changes over time, including hands on do it yourself solutions. The apartment is about 721 square feet, and one of the most talked about features is a handmade triple bunk bed. Each child has a level that functions as a personal zone, and siblings are only allowed to enter with permission. The family also uses smaller systems to reinforce ownership and respect, like individual drawers, shelves, and cabinets.
Almodovar says the routines matter because they turn respect into something practical. The children learn to ask before borrowing, to accept no without arguing, and to handle disappointment as part of normal family life. “That might sound like a small, simple thing, but those habits are the foundation of mutual respect and healthy relationships in shared spaces,” she emphasized. In their home, privacy is treated as an agreement everyone participates in, not a luxury item.
When a child wants alone time, the family relies on direct language and follow through. If someone wants to be alone in the bathroom, for example, they say so and everyone else respects it. Over time, Almodovar says those spoken boundaries become natural, and the kids learn that privacy can be requested and granted without drama. That kind of practice can be hard, but it is also what makes shared living more peaceful.
Her video drew plenty of attention, and she said many parents with similar arrangements responded in the comments. Some pointed out that sharing a room as a child later made dorm life easier, because the basics of compromise and courtesy were already familiar. Almodovar and Peterson hope their kids carry one key idea forward. They want them to believe that “less really is more,” and that satisfaction is not tied to bigger rooms or more belongings.
She also described the emotional goal behind their choices, which is a home that feels calm instead of crowded. “Even before we had kids, we saw our home as an oasis, a calm, open, relaxing place,” she said. “We only have about 721 square feet, but it feels bigger because we haven’t crammed it with stuff. It’s comfortable and peaceful to live in.” For her, the physical setup supports the mood they want the family to feel every day.
More broadly, room sharing has been a normal part of family life in many places and periods, especially in cities where housing is tight and families prioritize living near work, school, and community. Bunk beds and loft beds became popular partly because they make vertical space useful, freeing up floor space for play and storage. Child development experts often emphasize that what matters most is consistent sleep routines, a sense of safety, and predictable boundaries, whether a child sleeps alone or shares a room. Families who choose room sharing on purpose often focus on practical strategies like defined personal storage, quiet time rules, and permission based boundaries, which can make a smaller space feel more orderly.
What do you think, can sharing one bedroom help kids build stronger habits around respect, communication, and family connection, and why?
