One of the bravest things I have ever done in my life was starting this website. I’ve done a lot of brave things and I’m known for doing brave things, but starting this site is right up there with many of the brave things I have done in my life. With a name, twitter handle and page called “Dallas Single Mom” it comes with its ups and downs. While this site has evolved into many things I’d like to give you a little bit of “history” and then future goals for Dallas Single Mom.
Why it all started?
It all started for one main reason: I needed to supplement my income. I had a baby on the way from an ex who wasn’t going to help and my ex husband decided to take me back to court. I won the case and got awarded a settlement but not legal fees needed to be paid, daycare rearrangements needed to be done and so I did what I do best, I worked my butt off and created this site.
The help of Eric
I actually created this site from scratch all on my own. I haven’t hired anyone to do it for me, I taught myself with the help of signing up for a daily newsletter at Ericstips.com. I have learned a lot from Eric and while you can purchase his ebooks, his daily email newsletters have everything you need for FREE. At first this site was just my blog, then I decided to monetize it and enter affiliate marketing. When I did that, I started to lose the feel of what I wanted to accomplish so I decided to do more than just use it to supplement my income.
I decided to make this a place to help single parents with a mixture of:
- 30% coparenting and divorce issues
- 25% deals, coupons and product reviews
- 20% single parenting dating and relationships
- 15% Giveaways
- 10% Dallas events and deals
Have I taken a hit on affiliate earning since sticking to this format? Yes! I have now directed and begun to chart a different course for the site so that I can continue to do what I love and that is to help in my experience, education, and communication to other single parents who are just struggling emotionally to get out of what they perceive is their limitations. This is not a place for single parents to get a hand out. It’s to earn your spot and your keep because there is no replacement for hard work. There are no scholarships for single moms without scholastic or academic merit. There is no government grant for being a single parent without hard work. This site is about empowerment, and not about continuing to take scraps. So in that I have decided to create a mission statement so that I can state to the universe the following:
Dallas Single Mom is a lifestyle blog that is loosely based upon the trials and tribulations of my experiences as a single parent in Dallas. The Mission of Dallas Single Mom is to provide hope, support, services and resources to single parent families that are undergoing emotional, spiritual and financial struggles. It is to serve as a place of hope and confidence through personal experiences, research, referrals, networking and philanthropic donations for non-profit organizations.
“I’m not surprised you are single”
I get that a lot. When someone disagrees with me, this is the typical response that I get instead of an effective rebuttal. I have grown a thick skin about it after all this time but the more criticisms I get (you have to take a lot if you want to be a writer) it makes my mission statement and the purpose of this site even more powerful. For all the naysayers and the ones who also say “I feel sorry for your children since they are growing up in a single parent household” my main goal is to effectively stem the tide against the stereotype of single parents. It’s not allowing the label of being a “single mom” to be an excuse for stupid behavior and taking accountability for your actions. It’s about ensuring that the children growing up in a single parent household (which is at about 28% and may continue to grow) do not feel as if they are somehow singled out and put on a path where they are given less access to the opportunities for their success.
It’s not allowing ultra conservative opinions based on fear to have the right to disenfranchise or criminalize the single parent. It’s educating the public that the single parent or children of single parents are not destroying the institution of marriage. It’s about ensuring that single moms and dads make better decisions on choosing the right partner for future healthy marriages and blended families.
For every criticism I get, it helps me of what many are feeling in silence. I’m not always immune to the criticism, I know many of you are not. If we were immune to it, there would not be so many studies out there condemning single parenthood. The term single parent is used in society and the media as a derogatory term. Conveying the thought that somehow you failed as a person because you couldn’t keep a relationship together or a family together. That’s what’s so sad about the stories I hear from you in that many of you would rather stay in unhealthy and abusive relationships rather than striking out alone. It’s for your feelings of guilt that I have this website.
Anything is possible for the children of single parents and while many want to believe that the child of a single parent is destined to a life of crime, I don’t think George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Andrew Jackson, Bill Clinton or Barack Obama would agree with you! You are just as extraordinary as the single parents that raised them.