As parents we naturally want to boost our childrens confidence through positive words. Yet some common ways of offering praise may unintentionally cause problems according to experts. Renowned psychiatrist Dr. Sue Varma recently offered guidance on this important topic during an appearance on a major morning show. She stresses the need to be thoughtful about how we compliment kids to truly support their growth. Focusing on the proper elements makes all the difference in building lasting self assurance.
Many parents tend to highlight fixed characteristics when they praise their children. Saying things like you are so smart or you are incredibly talented points to qualities that feel unchangeable. This can make youngsters believe that success happens because of who they are rather than what they do. As a result they might shy away from difficult tasks where they fear failure. Dr. Varma explains that such comments can actually lower motivation over time instead of raising it.
The key lies in shifting attention to the effort children invest in their activities. For example if your child improves their math score after working hard point out how much time and dedication they showed. You might say you know how many hours you spent practicing and that determination really stands out. This approach helps them link achievements to actions they can control. It encourages a mindset geared toward improvement and resilience.
Dr. Varma notes that praising effort applies to everyday situations and even carries into adulthood. People frequently claim they lack ability in areas like mathematics or science. In reality consistent practice allows most individuals to make great progress in various skills. By avoiding fixed labels we teach our kids to embrace challenges as opportunities. This perspective prepares them better for the ups and downs of life.
Top athletes provide excellent examples of the benefits from focusing on controllable factors. Many Olympic competitors exhibit remarkable discipline along with emotional steadiness during tough moments. They keep pushing forward even when circumstances become complicated. Rather than depending on fleeting motivation they rely on habits of persistence. Dr. Varma highlighted these traits as essential for success in any field.
Awareness of other typical parenting pitfalls can further improve our interactions with kids. Experts like psychologist Dr. Jazmine McCoy point out errors such as pressuring a child to hurry through feelings or instructing them to relax when upset. These responses often heighten frustration and create distance. Everyone slips into these habits particularly on stressful days. Becoming mindful helps us pause and choose more effective strategies.
Putting this advice into practice requires attention but yields wonderful results for families. Children learn to value their hard work and develop stronger confidence in their abilities. They grow more eager to tackle new obstacles knowing effort leads to progress. Parents who adopt effort based praise notice positive shifts in behavior and attitude. Over the long term this supports healthier emotional development.
Consider your own conversations with your little ones and reflect on the words you use most often. Making these small but powerful adjustments can transform how kids view themselves and their potential. The way we speak to them shapes their inner voice for years to come. Share your thoughts on effective ways to praise children in the comments.
