When Lisa La Valle left New Jersey for Paris in 2018, she was chasing more than a postcard view. Newly divorced at 57, she wanted a fresh start and a life that felt lighter than the one she had been living. She had spent years traveling and working, and Europe was a dream she once shared with her ex-husband for “someday,” after the kids were grown. When that marriage ended, she decided someday was now.
La Valle’s love affair with living abroad began long before Paris. At 24, she went to Athens, Greece, for her final university semester and ended up staying two years because the energy of starting over felt thrilling. Decades later, she returned to Europe with a different kind of courage, not to reinvent herself from scratch, but to see if she could build a stable life on her own terms. She also wanted to step off the treadmill of high costs and constant worry that had started to shape her days back home.
Paris delivered beauty at first, the kind that can make you tear up mid-walk. La Valle remembers crossing Pont Neuf and feeling overwhelmed by how cinematic it all seemed. But nine months in, she felt the shift that many newcomers quietly experience, the moment when the fantasy starts to crack. She learned about “Paris Syndrome,” the culture shock that hits when the city in your head does not match the one you live in, and she recognized herself in it.
What surprised her most wasn’t the crowds or the logistics, but the emotional temperature. Paris began to feel like a private club, and she never quite got the sense she belonged. She made friends and taught English at several schools, including the International School of Paris, yet the city still left her anxious and worn down. Even pop culture myths fell away, and the glossy “Emily in Paris” version of the place felt miles from her daily reality, right down to the fact that not everyone looks like Jane Birkin.
In 2021, she made another leap, this time to Brescia in northern Italy after accepting a job teaching English literature at an international high school. As a third-generation Italian American, she called herself a “reverse immigrant,” returning to the country her ancestors once left. Brescia, set between Milan and Verona near the foothills of the Alps, felt modern and grounded rather than tourist-saturated. The change also brought practical relief, including a refurbished apartment with a terrace for €550 a month, compared to $1,200 in Paris.
La Valle retired in 2023 and now balances Social Security with part-time teaching, saying the lower cost of living makes her lifestyle feel sustainable. She still believes Europe offers what she hoped for in many ways, from transit to healthcare to everyday food quality, even if adjusting later in life comes with its own learning curve. When she visits the US, she says it feels familiar, like slipping into an old shoe, but it also confirms she made the right choice.
Would you ever consider starting over abroad after a major life change, and what would you want to know before making the leap?
