Surrender and Soulmates: The art of letting go

I can say in my 35 years of life on this planet earth I have never ever used the term soulmates or even believed in soulmates. Most psychics or astrologers will talk about soulmates and many different articles on the subject will pop up on the Internet. I can say that I have had deep, intimate connections with people. Either the opposite sex or the same sex. We either become good friends or very intimate but in any case, there is a “soul connection.”

Some connections are very brief, just a few minutes, like that man I met on the train. Some last a few months and some last years. My relationship with the speed demon was what I would consider a soul connection as that connection got me through some of the darkest days of my life. I think these relationships and the memories you make teach you things about yourself. My most recent relationship is the first time I would outwardly admit to anyone that this person was my soulmate and a special soul connection. Without going into details, it just could NOT BE. There was a deep, soulful connection filled with lots of love but at some point we decided it was time to grow and change in completely different directions. It goes back to my blog post about what I’m willing to put up with.

Your soul yearns for growth

The soul has a yearning to grow. We physically see ourselves and our loved ones age, the soul also yearns to grow and learn. We have a purpose and in fact that purpose is molded by God. Some individuals will stay in relationships that are abusive and diverting them away from fulfilling God’s purpose and to that I say “Yes that is a soulmate because if you are willing to put up with that person’s drama, abuse etc than your souls are perfectly mated to put up with each other’s less than stellar qualities.” I guess that is why I go through so many relationships. At first I thought something was wrong with me and then I realized that was not the case. I realize my soul is yearning for a different type of growth and I’m just not willing to put up with some of the other souls I’ve come across. In simplistic terms there is a soul connection but not so easily a lifetime connection. That doesn’t mean we are not soul mates, it just means that the lesson that was to be taught by the connection has now been learned.This can go for divorce as well which is why most divorces are thoroughly devastating. It is an uncoupling of sorts and if you took marriage vows you are definitely soulmates.

Surrendering Soulmates

To surrender your soulmate means that your inner soul is open to the possibilities of meeting another soulmate or growing to what your soul yearns for. Both of you surrender as soulmates. I love the way Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. describes surrendering. He describes it as “no longer fighting the rain.”

As you all may know I have finished reading his book The Five Levels of Attachment: Toltec Wisdom for the Modern World. Attachment is what causes you suffering in this world and in Ruiz Jr.’s facebook status update it talks about “attachment to outcomes.” This gives me a lot of comfort in letting go of the first person I ever proclaimed romantically to be my soulmate. In discussing my breakup with my loved ones, they all tried to convince me that I wasn’t really in love with him. I realize why they would tell me that. They love me and they don’t want to see me hurt. They want me to get over it quickly and move on and be happy. Instead though their failure to over-simplify my feelings made me feel even more hurt and bad for myself. I know what my feelings are and to trivialize my feelings makes me confused about my emotions and the choices I make. I decided to stand true to my feelings no matter what anyone else says so that I can reflect, learn and move on appropriately IN MY OWN TIME.

Letting go graciously 

Letting go graciously is an art. In my last breakup I have cried, analyzed and done all of those things that are perfectly normal. I have gotten angry and tried to deny I had love for him at all. These are all normal things to do. What I haven’t tried was to reflect on him, acknowledge our connection, surround him with love and light and let him go. I may have forgiven him because in all common sense we both have things we need to work on, he never had malicious intent with me. Today at church I was able to take communion because I had gone to reconciliation/confession the day prior. I acknowledged my mistakes to God and the ill-will I had to this person, my soul connection whom I still loved. After taking communion, I kneeled down in the pew and basically surrendered to God and said “OK Coach, you can put me in now. I finally figured out what you wanted me to do!” While I’m not ready to play for the Dallas Cowboys I found relief in acknowledging the connection and that it is never truly “broken.” Some soulmates are a bridge to something bigger and better in life whether that is another romantic relationship or that swift kick in the ass to get your act together. It’s a process and the joy is in that process.

What’s Next?

While hanging out with a girlfriend of mine at Legoland she asked if I was dating anyone. I told her no. She was surprised but happy. It is very unusual for me to not have a man lurking around, texting me or entertaining me. I told her I was too busy trying to save for a downpayment on a house and getting my life in order. As we had lunch and started putting together the kid’s Lego models together I was happy in that moment of surrender. It doesn’t have to be a grand awakening, sometimes you get by with a little help from your friends. I will still go through ups and downs. I may work out like a maniac or travel like a gypsy but I will never escape these feelings, so I just surrender.

One of the songs that reminds me of what it means to surrender is the song “Drift Away” by Dobie Gray. This epitomizes much of what I just wrote about. We surrender in order to free our soul from suffering and with soul mates we accomplish just that. Our souls must go through suffering to grow. I wanted to share a video from a friend of mine, Rick Martinez who is a fantastic singer and when I first met him we had a first date at a karaoke bar. Hands down the best first date I ever had in my life. He is a friend to this day – long lost but still a friend with an amazing voice. So take a listen and thanks for the inspiration Rick!

Lyrics to Drift Away

Songwriters
WILLIAMS, MENTOR R.

Published by
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

Read more: Uncle Kracker – Drift Away Lyrics | MetroLyrics