When I’m heading to a friend’s place for dinner, it feels natural to arrive with something in my hands. A small gift can be a warm thank you for the invitation, but some “classic” choices can quietly create extra work for the person already juggling timing, plates, and last minute details. That’s why Ina Garten, the longtime Barefoot Contessa and a pro at making hosting look effortless, has a simple reminder that good manners are about easing the evening, not complicating it.
One of the biggest pitfalls is showing up with food you expect to be served. It sounds helpful, but Garten points out that bringing a dish the host might feel obligated to put on the table can throw off a carefully planned menu. If someone has spent weeks mapping out a polished French style dinner, your fresh guacamole and chips might not fit the vibe, even if it tastes great. The awkward part is the unspoken pressure to squeeze it in anyway.
A better approach is to ask in advance if there’s something specific you can contribute. If the answer is no, stick with gifts that don’t demand a decision in the moment. A good bottle of wine is a classic because it can be opened that night or saved for later. You can also bring a high quality ingredient your host will actually enjoy using after the guests are gone, like a loaf of artisan bread, or the kind of thoughtful staple Martha Stewart is known for gifting, such as a box of fresh eggs.
@todayshow In a live Sunday Sitdown recording, Ina Garten tells Willie Geist the two things she would never bring to a party. Venue sponsored by City Winery NYC
♬ original sound – TODAY Show
The second surprisingly tricky gift is flowers, specifically a bouquet that isn’t already in a vase. Garten’s point is painfully relatable because the moment a guest arrives, the host is often mid chaos, greeting people, topping up drinks, and keeping an eye on the kitchen. A loose bouquet instantly becomes a new task that requires finding a vase, removing wrapping, trimming stems, and arranging everything on the spot.
The fix is easy and still feels special. Bring flowers already arranged in a vase so they can go straight on a table without any fuss. It doesn’t need to be fancy, since a large jar or even a clean wine bottle with the label removed can look charming. If you can’t carry a container, offer to handle the whole setup yourself in the kitchen so the host can stay focused on welcoming everyone.
What’s your go to dinner party gift that you swear by, and have you ever received one that accidentally created extra work for you as the host? Share your thoughts in the comments.
