A growing number of therapists say Gen Z is being shortchanged on a surprisingly basic skill that matters far beyond friendships and dating. The habit of constantly looking at a phone instead of engaging with the people nearby can quietly erode the everyday social practice that builds confidence. And without that practice, the workplace can feel more intimidating than it needs to.
The conversation picked up after American author and speaker Simon Sinek posed a simple question to renowned couples therapist Esther Perel. He asked what relationship skill Gen Z should master before starting a first job. Perel’s answer was blunt and refreshingly practical: talk to strangers.
Perel argues that casual chats with unfamiliar people are not just a charming social ritual, they are training for real life. When someone spends most of their free moments scrolling, they stop noticing who is around them. They do not talk to the person on a plane, the stranger in line, or the barista while waiting for coffee. Those tiny interactions are where spontaneity and comfort with the unexpected get built.
She also frames these moments as an exercise in trust. Talking to strangers involves stepping into uncertainty and learning to manage it with curiosity. If that muscle is weak, trust is harder to access, and the first days at work can feel like entering hostile territory. In Perel’s view, a first job is essentially a series of conversations with strangers, often without knowing what they want or how they see you.
That discomfort has become more visible as different generations try to work together. Forbes has noted that the widening gap can paint Gen Z as indifferent, disengaged, or even defiant. One example is the viral phrase “Gen Z stare,” which describes a blank look that some interpret as attitude, even when it may be stress or uncertainty. Joe Galvin, chief research officer at Vistage, has suggested the trend is less about a meme and more about a broader mismatch in communication and expectations, similar to how “quiet quitting” became a catchall label.
@chena_verony Another late night scrolling 🤦🏻♀️😬 #actress #socialmedia #scrolling #latenight #latenightscrolling #genz ♬ original sound – Chéna Verony
The pandemic and the rise of remote work did not help. Face to face interaction was replaced by screens, and many young adults missed out on casual, low stakes conversations that teach social rhythm. Perel believes that rebuilding connection is possible, but it requires choosing engagement on purpose. Saying a quick hello, asking a small question, or making a light comment to someone nearby can be a simple start.
She also points out that employers have a role in closing the gap. Workplaces can encourage clearer communication, rethink outdated ways of measuring engagement, and make room for genuine dialogue. More opportunities to interact in person can help teams build trust and feel connected, which benefits everyone.
Do you think talking to strangers is a skill we need to relearn, or has the workplace simply changed? Share your thoughts in the comments.
