Among all the dating shifts tipped to shape 2026, “relationship anarchy” is the one most people don’t see coming. The phrase can sound like chaos in disguise, which is exactly why it tends to stop people in their tracks. Yet the dating app Feeld suggests a surprising number of us are already practicing it in some form, even if we would never use that label. As reported by The Independent, it’s quietly moving from niche idea to mainstream conversation.
Despite the name, relationship anarchy is not about rejecting love or treating commitment like a joke. It’s a way of approaching relationships without default scripts, meaning no automatic rules simply because two people are dating. Instead, everything is negotiated between the people involved, including boundaries, expectations, and what the relationship actually looks like day to day. The only “rule” is that the structure is chosen, not inherited.
The concept was popularized by Swedish writer and activist Andie Nordgren, who shared a manifesto back in 2006. Her core message was that love isn’t a limited resource that must be divided according to traditional rankings. In this worldview, a romantic partner doesn’t automatically outrank every other bond, and labels only matter if they genuinely help the people involved. The focus shifts from fitting into categories to building connections that feel honest and sustainable.
In practice, this can overlap with consensual non monogamy, but it isn’t identical. Dr. Audrey Tang, a chartered member of the British Psychological Society, explains that the difference is largely philosophical. Rather than starting from the idea of a “couple” and then expanding the rules, relationship anarchy questions why those preset expectations exist in the first place. Each relationship, whether romantic, sexual, platonic, or even family based, is shaped on its own terms.
@polyamarla #greenscreen understanding relationship anarchy using the smorgasbord tool. . . . . #cnm #enm #nonmonogamy #relationshipanarchy #relationshipadvice #foreducationalpurpose #relationships #fyp #foryou ♬ original sound – Marla (they/them)
Supporters say the appeal is partly about community and emotional resilience, not just dating freedom. Ruby Rare, who collaborated with Feeld on its report, describes it as prioritizing mutual care and meaningful connections beyond romance. There’s also a repeated emphasis on communication, consent, and autonomy, because without those, the flexibility can quickly become confusion. Relationship counselor Lorin Krenn adds that many people feel boxed in by traditional roles and are looking for something that feels less pressured and more emotionally real.
Of course, there are pitfalls. Without cultural “templates,” people need strong emotional skills, clear self awareness, and the ability to name boundaries early and often. Skeptics also worry the label could be misused as cover for casual behavior, which is why Dr. Tang warns against throwing around therapy style terms without understanding them. If relationship anarchy becomes a buzzword rather than a practice, it risks turning something meaningful into just another hashtag.
What do you think, is relationship anarchy a refreshing reset for modern love, or a concept that’s easy to misunderstand and misuse? Share your thoughts in the comments.
