Parenting has never stayed still for long, and every generation believes it is reacting to what came before it. Many parents raising kids today have access to endless advice, research, and support communities that simply did not exist a few decades ago. That shift can make modern child rearing look more deliberate, but also more complicated and publicly debated. In a discussion sparked in HuffPost’s Facebook community, grandparents shared what they admire about today’s approach and what still worries them.
A recurring theme was appreciation for how emotionally tuned in many parents try to be. Several grandparents said they see more patience, more conversation, and more effort to understand what a child is feeling instead of shutting emotions down. One grandmother described watching her adult children parent and feeling both proud and amazed, saying, “My kids are so devoted to their kids, it’s wonderful. They use gentle parenting techniques, even with challenging personalities. They give them healthy ways to express themselves and they support their friends too.” She added, “They are 100% better than I was,” while acknowledging she raised five children largely on her own.
Still, even supporters of gentle parenting warned that the label can be misunderstood. A grandmother put it bluntly, “People who want to practice gentle parenting should truly educate themselves on how it works if they want the goals of gentle parenting. People often confuse it with permissive parenting.” That distinction matters because warmth without boundaries can quickly turn into chaos, especially in public settings where children are still learning self control. For some grandparents, the issue is not kindness itself, but consistency and follow through.
Grandparents also noticed a change that many families consider a major win, more active father involvement. One commenter praised her daughter’s parenting and highlighted her son in law’s day to day presence, saying, “My daughter is a hardworking, gentle, wonderful mother, and my son-in-law is an incredible father who actively participates and successfully carries half the load.” She went further, adding, “Our shared grandkids would be lucky if EVERYONE had parents like this.” For older generations that often saw caregiving default to mothers, this shared responsibility stands out as meaningful progress.
Modern convenience was another point of envy, especially for families juggling multiple kids and busy schedules. One grandmother joked, “If only Amazon existed back then. I would have been endlessly grateful for diaper delivery.” That single line captures how parenting now includes a marketplace of subscription services, next day shipping, and on demand help that can reduce stress for exhausted caregivers. Convenience does not solve everything, but it can free up time and energy for connection, rest, and routine.
Concerns showed up just as clearly as praise, especially around children’s behavior in public spaces. One grandfather said he likes many trends and is curious to see how kids grow up, but he worries about emotional regulation, explaining, “I notice most kids today aren’t emotionally regulated enough to have decent manners in restaurants, and I don’t understand what that’s about.” Another issue raised was the pressure children carry earlier than ever, from structured activities to constant talk about achievement. One grandfather argued the competition is harming kids, saying, “The race in everything has made kids anxious,” and urging adults to “reduce the pressure” so children can enjoy being young.
Technology came up repeatedly, and not in a gentle way. One grandmother summed it up in a single frustrated sentence, “Too much time on the damn phone.” For many grandparents, screens represent a daily battle that did not exist in their parenting years, and they worry about attention span, sleep, social skills, and the ability to entertain oneself without a device. Even when parents set rules, the sheer presence of phones and tablets in modern life makes the struggle feel constant.
Some grandparents also believe the parent child relationship has shifted in a way that weakens authority. One grandmother complained, “Too many parents today are ‘friends’ with their kids, so nobody is in control.” Alongside that, another grandmother emphasized the basics she feels are slipping, including gratitude and punctuality. She said, “Respect and manners matter a lot to me,” adding that saying “thank you” feels rare, ignoring messages feels rude, and chronic lateness is aggravating. She also reminded readers, “Kids learn what they live,” and praised time outdoors over staying inside with video games.
Health and community responsibility appeared in the conversation too, especially around vaccines. One woman argued strongly that children should receive routine immunizations unless there is a medical reason not to, saying, “Kids need minimum vaccinations unless there’s a valid medical reason. Unvaccinated kids are a public health nuisance.” She added that someone “without medical training” should not make choices that affect the wider population. That comment reflects how parenting debates now intersect with public health, misinformation, and trust in institutions.
Another grandfather looked ahead and worried that instant gratification, especially in a world shaped by artificial intelligence, could weaken patience and resilience. He warned, “We must pull back so we can teach patience and understanding that survival isn’t just getting everything you want when you want it.” He stressed that caring for oneself and others matters, and urged families not to lose “creativity, empathy, basic life skills.” He closed with a practical reminder, “There will come a time when a child needs common sense, and you don’t have an app or a device.”
Even with criticisms, many grandparents ended up offering an unexpectedly generous conclusion. One grandmother celebrated how her grandchildren play, saying, “They’re outside, playing in the mud, riding bikes, learning,” and at home they use toys, puzzles, and books with “no technology and little TV.” Another grandfather kept it simple, “My kids are much better parents than I was. They do an amazing job.” A grandmother agreed and gave her daughter and son in law an enthusiastic grade, saying they raised “two teenagers” and “did parenting for an A plus.”
In broader terms, gentle parenting is often described as a relationship based approach that focuses on empathy, respect, and coaching children through big emotions while still maintaining clear boundaries. It is frequently contrasted with permissive parenting, which may avoid limits, and with authoritarian parenting, which can rely heavily on punishment and obedience. Many experts describe authoritative parenting as a balanced model that combines warmth with structure, which helps children develop self control and confidence over time. Meanwhile, ongoing debates about screen time reflect how childhood has moved indoors, become more scheduled, and grown more connected to digital spaces than any previous era.
Grandparents bring a useful long view because they have lived through cultural shifts, economic changes, and evolving ideas about child development. Their praise often points to emotional awareness and shared parenting, while their worries highlight regulation, manners, pressure, and technology. Taken together, their comments show that families are not just arguing about rules but trying to define what a healthy childhood should look like in a fast changing world. What changes in today’s parenting do you think are helping kids most, and what do you think deserves more caution, share your thoughts in the comments.
