If you are looking for love as a single mom, or not even actively looking but not entirely ruling it out, it’s important that you sort out what is important to you. Figure out what matters to you and what you want for your children. The last thing that you are going to want to do is to meet someone who is bad match for you and your kids. Getting your priorities sorted now means that you can save a lot of problems down the line, and you will be able to rule out deal breakers and people that are not on the same page.
The first thing that you are going to need to look for is loyalty. You don’t want someone that is going to leave the first sign that there is trouble, or the first time their head is turned by an attractive person. This is not how life works. You want someone who wants you and only you, who wants to stand by your side through all of the good times and the bad, and someone who is never going to give up showing you how much they love you.
Loyalty is extremely important, especially when you have kids to consider in the equation. This makes things more complicated, and you need to be able to rely on the person for the sake of your kids as well.
Another trait that you are going to need to look for is honesty. You simply cannot have someone who is constantly lying in your life and by extension your children’s. It is important that you know that they are being honest with you. If they say they are going somewhere, you need to know that’s where they are going rather than having them lie to you and you feel like you have to become Sherlock Holmes. Honestly, without honesty there isn’t much of a relationship, because you are never going to feel calm enough to be able to rest in the safety and security of knowing your partner.
Finally, it’s important that you can trust them. This is similar to the last point, and is tied to it in a sense. The difference that you need to remember is that honesty is from them, trust is from you. You need to trust them until they give you a reason not to. For as long as they continue to be honest with you, and they aren’t just telling you the things that you want to hear, you should trust them. Don’t let your past experiences cloud your judgement. However, if something doesn’t feel right or you feel like they are lying to you, talk about it. Never blindly trust, especially when it’s not just you involved.
It does not make sense be more concerned with getting that 1 carat diamond ring on your finger at the expense of truly knowing the inside of the person that you are spending time with. These character traits will play important roles in the lives of you and your children, and some personality traits are more desirable than others. It is absolutely vital that you sort out which ones you care about the most.
Cheering you on.