Raising a teenager has never been simple, but parenting Gen Z can feel like learning a new language mid-conversation. Today’s teens are growing up with constant digital noise, shifting social expectations, and pressures that don’t always look like the ones their parents remember. That gap makes communication harder, even when everyone involved genuinely wants to feel close. Many parents feel lost, and many teens quietly wonder if being understood is even possible.
To get a clearer picture of what young people actually want from the adults in their lives, the Walton Family Foundation and Gallup surveyed 1,675 kids and teens ages 10 to 18. They were asked one direct question about what they most want their parents to understand. The answers were blunt, thoughtful, and often surprisingly tender. At the top of the list was a simple request for emotional validation, even when their feelings seem messy or inconsistent.
Teens said they want parents to remember that feelings can be real even when they sound irrational, and that disobedience is not the same thing as a lack of love. Many asked to be heard without being “fixed,” explaining that a venting session is not always a problem-solving invitation. They also called out the stress of being pulled between parents, the damage of being compared to siblings or friends, and the way shouting instantly shuts down respect. Several responses focused on trust and maturity, with teens insisting they know more than adults assume, that they’re not little kids anymore, and that constant reminders to behave can feel insulting.
@seza_gal Terrified most days #mumofboys #teenagers *and that hug cost me £20 🤣💙 #parentsoftiktok #mumofteenager ♬ original sound – Magnus The Therapy Dog
They also shared everyday truths parents often dismiss. Some find comfort in books, some are simply not morning people, and some don’t see a messy room as a crisis. School came up repeatedly, not just as something they dislike, but as something they feel is harder now than it used to be, especially when it comes to social pressure and making friends. They want parents to see them as more than grades, to accept that they are trying, and to understand that being a good kid can still include making mistakes.
The survey also pushes back on popular stereotypes about Gen Z. Teens don’t always love their phones the way adults think they do, and many feel guilty about how much time they spend online. Still, they rely on devices as “digital oxygen” for school logistics, sports plans, and social life, so sudden phone confiscation can feel like emotional isolation. Interestingly, 55 percent said they still prefer in-person connection with their closest friends.
Another insight is that teens do want guidance, just not always in the format parents choose. Nearly three quarters said they’d like advice from older adults, but face-to-face talks can feel intense, so texting or chatting side-by-side in the car may be easier. Trust, they stressed, has to be earned through consistency and honesty, especially in a world where curated images and betrayals are everywhere. And with “cancel culture” looming in the background, many teens need adults to model how to fail, recover, and move forward without shame.
What do you think teens most want parents to understand right now? Share your thoughts in the comments.
