Unwrapping presents, the scent of cinnamon rolls, and that first cup of coffee can make Christmas morning feel almost unreal. Parents often treasure the chaos, even when they are running on little sleep. For most kids, though, the spotlight stays fixed on what’s under the tree. The tricky part is that the dream of “more” can quietly turn into a habit that’s hard to rein in.
Experts say overgifting is common, and it can come with downsides that show up gradually. Mark Joseph, the founder of Parental Queries, warns that an overload of presents may push children toward materialism and sky high expectations. When the pile becomes the tradition, it can dull appreciation and feed the idea that getting everything you want is normal. That shift doesn’t happen overnight, but holiday after holiday it can shape how kids measure joy.
There isn’t a universal number that works for every family, and that is the point. Educational psychologist Dr. Elanna Yalow suggests starting with your own values and your real budget, then building the plan from there. One helpful approach is making a wish list with your child and talking about priorities. It keeps the excitement while also teaching that choices matter.
Many families rely on simple guidelines to keep things balanced. Some stick to the “three gifts” idea, a nod to the three gifts in the Christmas story. Others prefer the “four gifts” rule, something a child wants, something they need, something to wear, and something to read. Joseph’s view is straightforward, a few thoughtful picks can mean more than a crowded stack of boxes.
Budget limits can also reduce stress and prevent last minute shopping spirals. A survey from November 2022 found that many parents in the United States planned to spend about $220 per child, which shows how easily costs add up even with good intentions. More families are also choosing experience gifts like theatre tickets, a concert, or a short trip, so the present becomes a memory instead of more stuff. Yalow also encourages letting kids add ideas to a wish list all year long, because time tends to reveal what they truly care about.
In the end, the most meaningful part of the day is rarely the biggest toy or the flashiest box. It’s feeling seen, feeling included, and having the adults you love fully present in the moment. A calmer, more intentional holiday can still be magical, and it often leaves everyone less overwhelmed by the end of the day. The best gift strategy is the one that fits your family without pressure to perform.
How do you decide what’s “enough” in your home, and what traditions help you keep gifting realistic? Share your approach in the comments.
